surgeworks

06 - June 1 | Table of Contents | 08 - July 1

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Alternate Title: Is it Seriously Still June?

…I’m gonna level with you guys: this one is boring.

I mean, it is. Technically, a lot happens in this spork:

Fuuka join the team.
We meet a doggo.
We meet our villains.
Junpei makes us cry.

But we are squarely in the “dating sim” half of the dating sim vs turn-based combat matter. Just about every day is spent social linking and ranking up, so I apologize if I end up sounding a bit dry by the end of it. Or the middle of it. Or just ten paragraphs from now. But we’re getting nowhere just talking about it.

Last time, Akihiko joined our team, we met Shinjiro, discussed why Yukari and Junpei were acting like assholes, and finished off the Empress and the Emperor. All of our active counts jumped past the double digits, and we woke up on 6/9, which is where we start now. Another long one, unfortunately.

Yukari meets us outside the gates of school, speculating on whether Mitsuru had Fuuka saved because it was the right thing to do or because we needed Fuuka, a Persona-user. This fails to shake our faith in Mitsuru, who earned a lot of points for dismantling Mr. Ekoda yesterday. After class, we finally start that Devil flag, by talking to Saori. Apparently, celebrities hang out at Paulownia Mall at night. We have until 6/23 to actually get the other two flags, so I think it’ll work out. We hang out with Yukari after class, for a holdover meeting.

At the dorm, we find out Mitsuru and Akihiko are in the hospital checking on Fuuka. We also hear that the antique shop (where we can fuse Personas into weapons) is now open. We go there, and find out that you need to get the special weapons to fuse with from golden shadows (so yeah, another reason we won’t be going out of our way to do that). You can fuse most Personas with those weapons for better equipment, but most will only produce a generic form—specific, unique Personas will create better, unique weapons—for example, fusing Cu Chulainn or Shiva with a spear. We can also trade gems here for those special stat-boosting cards we got from Mitsuru and skill cards, which we will be doing. That, and Persona fusions. In the original game, if you had a certain pair of Personas, you could perform special moves with special effects—the most well-known are Helel and Satan creating Armageddon, a 10,000-damage attack, and Vishnu and Ananta producing Infinity, which provides invulnerability. So long as you had the SP for it and these Personas, you could use them as much as you like. In P3P, you have to buy these powers as items. For, may I say, very rare drops. Why was that changed?!

Bad Game Design: 13

I bet you were starting to think that count was never going to update after the start of the game, didn’t you? Also, I’ll address something that might seem like a downgrade to other people, since it’s relevant. Remember when I brought up the naginata business? And how it’s different from the Male MC’s swords, for some reason? In vanilla P3, it wasn’t just swords he could use—he could use any weapon at all. Any of the other characters’ weapons were fair game for him. I’m not going to give that a point because it actually makes sense. This game goes to some length to justify why each character uses each weapon—Yukari’s in archery club, so she uses a bow, Mitsuru’s in fencing, so she uses a rapier, Akihiko boxes, so he uses his fists, etc. It didn’t make sense in the first place for the MC to be able to use any weapon without presumably having any of the proficiency the other characters have to justify it—and while Junpei’s certainly never trained with a huge sword, he’s still restricted to that weapon, instead of just picking up anything he likes. The only reason it was there was to go “look how cool the MC is! He’s good at everything while everyone else is only good at one thing”. So that change doesn’t get a point.

At the mall, before we play our arcade game, we walk up to a strange man in a suit. If you’ve watched the TV show on Sunday, you’ll know that this is Mr. Tanaka, who owns Tanaka’s Amazing Commoddities. He notices us thanks to our Charm stat, and blatantly scams us, telling us our dreams will come true and he’ll make us wealthy if we give him 20,000 yen, without us doing anything. We fork it over. It will not be the last 20,000 yen this man takes, but it’s the price we pay for badass Personas. We then play a horror game.

We’re still tired come the 6/10. Mitsuru meets us to let us know Fuuka’s recovering well. In class, Mr. Ono is still whining about not getting to natter on about samurais yet. The Taika reforms happened in 645, and Heijo-Kyo happens in the Nara era, and then he decides that’s enough of that. We stay awake despite options to doze, and are informed of 4500 poems leading up to the Nara era called the Man-yoshu. And then he’s done caring.

That day, we go to the clinic. Our Courage maxes out from Fearless to Badass! We can finally stop drinking this asshole’s jars of mud! Which is good, because we’ll be needing Badass-level Courage for a Social Link soon. The one we pursue today, though, is Rio.

We’re alone in practice that day, though Rio is set upon by none other than Kenji, the dude whose major trait is that he likes older women. He literally just walks up and asks Rio to do his homework for him, so I’m going to assume they’re close. Asking what she gets in return if she does, Kenji offers—no joke—his love, which Rio assures him no one needs. She’d much rather have the special at Hagakure. For someone who supposedly has trouble being social and loosening up, this chick does know her way around a stinging comeback and into a date. Kenji agrees, though the price is steep. She apologizes for ‘loafing around’ once he leaves and we remark that they get along well. She says they’re childhood friends, and he’s like a younger brother to her. Apparently he’s been around a lot lately, to the point of being a bit of a pest, and we ask her what’s the matter when she pauses. She says that it isn’t much of a practice with just two people in a tone that suggests we should give up.

> “Why don’t you try apologizing?” (Fuck that, she has nothing to apologize for.)
> “They’ll eventually come back.” (Yeah, or they can try insisting they totally were here at the end of term, when their grades are hanging over them.)

Rio is stuck. She doesn’t want to pretend like nothing happened, but she’s not going to be a doormat and say it’s her fault. She then says that she knows she needs to be more mature, but those dudes taking barbs to her about never having been in a relationship when it’s none of their business hurts. Again, I totally agree with her and we tell her not to let it get to her. She hesitantly asks if there’s someone we like, and we (lie and) say nope! And she’s relieved. According to her, romance is a lot of trouble for no real reward.

(Well, unless you’re us, and you get badass avatars that shoot fire and lightning in exchange for dealing with this game’s hellion women and their romantic desires).

We RANK UP! It should be noted that Rio asks if she can call us just “Chris” instead of “Chris-san”, which I would say means a lot, since as I understand, that’s reserved for real and close friends in Japan.

Mr. Tanaka isn’t out tonight, so we just play the quiz game.

6/11 arrives. Our cell beeps with a text after school from Akihiko. We’re to go to the command room as soon as we’re back at the dorm to meet with Fuuka, who’s getting released today. Sure, but first, let’s hang out with Junpei.

He takes us out for ramen, whereupon he worries about our figure. Not letting him get away with that remark, we tell him to shut his face. Junpei is surprisingly pleased, saying we must’ve thought of saying that much before. Um…what? If he can tell he’s being an ass, can’t he, you know, not be an ass?

WISTLH: 18

He idly wonders where we’ll be in the next ten years, with an expression that implies it doesn’t feel like a bright future, but we say he’ll be a great guy. That cheers him right up. He then expresses some dissatisfaction with his current life, saying it’s hard to get interested in TV or manga these days, and wonders if there’s something only he can do.

~~Not really, since his best skills are better done by a dog and a robot~~. We mention his terrible jokes as a strong point, not wanting to encourage ‘Persona’ and that perhaps unhealthy drive to be very important by charging ahead and fighting monsters. He brings it up anyway, saying it feels like a mission that he doesn’t understand but needs to do. When asked if we’ve ever felt this sort of confusion, we respond in the affirmative. Junpei having opened up to us, we RANK UP.

We head back to the dorm, where Ikutsuki and Fuuka are sitting surrounded by SEES. Ikutsuki lets us know that we did a great job and the three hospitalized girls are all awake again. Fuuka blames herself, somehow, and Mitsuru reminds us that we could’ve lost the fight without her. She lets everyone know that Fuuka is a Persona-user, and could join the fight. Yukari, of course, tries to remind Fuuka that she shouldn’t feel pressured, only for her to immediately say she’ll do it. Ikutsuki talks about the Full Moon Shadows, and Junpei wonders if they’re like werewolves. As if they hadn’t had enough time to figure this out, after-text on the black screen shows our character to be wondering if this could be ‘what the boy was telling you about’.

My god, even we’re idiots.

After the scene ends, talking to Junpei reveals him to be glazing about Fuuka again. When we ask if this is all he thinks about, the ‘I’m a man I can’t help it’ thing pops up again, and he calls it proof he’s ‘normal’.

WISTLH: 19

*Nastily* I beg to differ, asshole.

Mitsuru and Akihiko walked Fuuka home. Mr. Tanaka is at Paulownia Mall again tonight, and lets us know that things have gotten derailed a bit, and he’ll need another 10,000 yen to fix things for our fortune. We hand it over, then we take photos at the arcade, leveling our Charm up from Queen Bee to Angelic.

On 6/12, Yukari is still concerned that Fuuka may have been pushed too hard into joining us. In class 2-F, everyone is murmuring about something happening with Mr. Ekoda, who’s in trouble. Fuuka walks in, and Natsuki after her. Natsuki’s not here to give her shit, though, she’s actually here to let her know she has someone to talk to if she needs it. Aww! After class, we hang out with Yukari.

We head over to Paulownia Mall, where Yukari’s day is dampened by a phone call from her mother. We ask if she’s okay after the rather tense conversation. Her mom is wanting to get remarried. Yukari says that she doesn’t really mind the remarrying itself, but can’t stand the way her mother’s been living lately, going from guy to guy like that—it doesn’t seem fair to her late dad. We take a few minutes to comfort her, and when she resurfaces, she says she’ll never be ‘weak’ like her mother, and intends to live on her own without running from her problems. We RANK UP. She even blushes as she says she feels like she can tell us anything.

Back at the dorm, Junpei talks about Fuuka and Mr. Ekoda. Akihiko says Mitsuru and Yukari are helping to get Fuuka’s room ready and will call one of the guys if a cockroach needs killing. We go out to the mall and refresh Theo’s request list, finding the following:

Bring him a Christmas Star, available 6/27.
Bring him a glasses wipe, available 6/20.
Bring him a ‘protein that isn’t for pros’, available 6/16.
Visit Iwatodai Station with him.
Bring him 3 Jack Frost Dolls.
Create Orthrus with Dodge Slash.
Bring him a bronze medal from the gold hands in a Tartarus block we haven’t unlocked.
Bring him the ‘shell of a man’, a science class anatomy model.
Bring him a goggle-eyed idol.

I must admit most of these are lost on me. I swear I did them all a couple years ago, but not remembering them now, I’ll succumb and use another guide. Upon checking one, we accept the bolded ones. Jack Frost dolls are prizes in the Crane game next to the arcade, so we go do that, though it’s horrendously unforgiving. Thankfully, there’s no Tartarus requests with a deadline right now, which is good because our other guide says we won’t be going to Tartarus until 7/5—the same day this set of requests expire.

We actually can fuse Ares, part of the Orthrus fusion, with Dodge Slash. But, we still can’t go through with it all the way since we’re not leveled high enough. We get our first Jack Frost doll from the crane game on our seventh try, the second on our fourteenth, and the third on the twentieth. I thought it was going to be the twenty-first try, but I guess that’s one ounce of mercy this game has. We then trade two turquoise stones for a goggle-eyed doll at the antiques shop, and take our spoils to Theodore. For the goggle-eyed doll, we receive Mitsuru’s winter outfit, which Theo apparently thinks he’d look good in. For the Jack Frost dolls, which Theo is sure are hypnotic psychological traps due to being unable to stop feeling their softness, we receive Jack’s Gloves, which is really good equipment for Akihiko. We stop for coffee that night.

We get the Dark Hour cut-in. Someone’s in our room again…

CREEPY BOY IS AT IT AGAIN.

He brings up ‘the end’ again, and says he remembered something else—it’s inevitable, yet he says it doesn’t seem that inevitable with our ‘vast potential’. He then asks to be our friend.

NO. NO YOU CANNOT. STOP WAKING US UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND SITTING ON OUR BED. LEAVE US ALONE.

There is no such option, unfortunately. Much like Teddie, our MC is determined to be this kid’s friend despite our wishes to tell him to go fuck off somewhere. We ask for his name, and he doesn’t have one, but selects ‘Pharos’ as his for now. I was absolutely sure that was some DEATH point waiting to happen, but Pharos is just the name of a lighthouse in Alexandria. I am thus absolutely unsure of why it was chosen.

Oh, and we Social link. Can you guess which Link it is? Yep! Death! He then leaves.

On 6/13, Mitsuru informs us that with Fuuka taking over navigation, she herself can return to the front lines. She’s going to be a delight. We head over to the laboratory and find Ms. Ounishi wondering what to do with, shock, an anatomy model they don’t want. Just gonna take that to Theo real quick, and he actually gets the purpose of it 100% right—though he does intend on ‘playing’ with it later, which concerns me. For that, we get the Beam Naginata, fuck yeah. Then it’s time for our latest date, this time to Iwatodai Station.

Theo is very ill at ease in front of an escalator, blushing and denying assistance when we try to help him onto it. It’s slow, so not quite as bad as expected, and he’s quite proud of himself after we get off. We then head to the strip mall. He immediately smells something and heads over to Octopia, where he apparently deducts the secret ingredient by the scent, impressing the service lady. She says he can have some if he wants, and that he’ll smile so hard his cheeks will fall off. Predictably, this alarms Theo, until we let him know it’s an expression. We buy some 97-degree-Fahrenheit takoyaki and share it. Remarking on the texture, we tell him it’s octopus, and he agrees, but for one err, unorthodox ingredient that apparently is not for cooking. Still not feeling sure of our cheeks’ safety, he grabs ours, worries that he may have hurt us, and then tries to rub it better. ‘Stroked’ is the word the game uses, and, well…

You clueless, lovable, unbearably sexy idiot.

He got a takoyaki-shaped cell strap with his order (apparently the service lady was taken with him), and considers it a souvenir of our date. He says he’s acquired something ‘precious’ to him, and calls this unfortunate for some reason. He says this is ‘our fault’, as if this were something to be ashamed of, and won’t let us have the strap. After we pass some time, Theo remarks that it sure does fly, and prepares to head back to the Velvet Room, but—!

A car is coming! It’s headed straight for us!

We’re given the rather dumbass option of “get out of the way” or “don’t move”! Yes, I yearn for death and desire for this car to hit me and send me sprawling and broken. No, we move out of the way, but are apparently not quick enough on the draw and are pushed the rest of the way by Theo. After making sure we’re safe, we head back. When we get there, Theo says he asked for an escalator in the Velvet Room, but was denied. Why not? It’s ever-ascending, like the elevator that actually makes up the room, and cyclical! He then gives us an item to fuse Empusa with. We accept the three time-limited requests from before, and then leave.

We then visit Maiko. She informs us that her mom and dad did in fact remember her birthday the other day. We congratulate her with a reminder that her parents love her. She’s very happy, in contrast to her previous somber attitude, and decides she’ll just ask them why they’re divorcing. After all, if she can get rid of the reason, she can keep her parents together, right? We RANK UP!

Ah, childlike ignorance.

Getting back to the dorm, we’re surprised to find that our phone is ringing and it’s Theodore. He’s calling to tell us about the dead end in Arqa opening up. Thanks, Theo! We talk to Mitsuru, who refuses to divulge Mr. Ekoda’s punishment, although the implications are something I’ll be remarking on later. Keep this in mind. We then go play the quiz game.

6/14 arrives. Junpei calls, but we have to spend time with the old couple today. When we get in, Mitsuko is crying. We ask what’s wrong, but this time she’s crying because she’s happy. The graduates from their son’s class gathered at the school, and are collecting signatures for a petition to save the persimmon tree. We agree with how great that is, and Mitsuko mentions how it’s been so many years, but those students still remember him! Bunkichi asks if we called them, and we honestly say no because we’re not credit-taking dicks. They don’t believe us, but are happy anyway. We RANK UP!

That’s so great, man.

We go back to the dorm. Junpei seems to have been in a spot of trouble with the police (?!) but it was a false alarm. Ikutsuki tells us that Fuuka’s pretty good with technology. We go for coffee.

6/15. Yukari asks outside school what we think of Mitsuru, rolling her eyes when we raise an eyebrow and suggest her question had some lesbian motivations. She’s still hung up on Fuuka being pushed to joining, and at this rate it’s a little annoying. Ms. Toriumi asks us a simple language question in class, and I’m not giving you the answer because translators put it in English. Our charm increases.

After class, Junpei remarks that he’s in paradise surrounded by beautiful teenage girls while his portrait offers up a creepy face. We remark on it, and no, he is still not done excusing himself with ‘it is normal and natural to be a pervert’.

WISTLH: 20

We then go find Fuuka, our next Social Link. This chick and her cooking, which she suggests we try if we’ve got time, is the reason we need Badass-level courage. We are dragged to the home ec room. Fuuka is blissfully unaware of how terrible this lunch, which is apparently her best work so far, is—we can smell it before it’s even opened. Our screen actually shakes when we try it. Despite wanting to remove our tongue and dip it in bleach, we tell her bravely that it’s not bad for a first attempt (ignore how this is not her first, since that’s what she does). A little nervous, Fuuka directs our attention to the blackboard—she’s started a cooking club. She admits that cookbooks don’t make much sense to her and that she wants us around to help. So begins the Priestess Arcana Social Link!

With the remnant ingredients she didn’t use, we jumble them together to make dog food. We will be using this for a Social Link too, just not your typical one.

We get back to the dorm, and Junpei remarks that hey, nothing against Mitsuru, but Fuuka has an angel’s voice. Considering the voice acting in this game, especially each one’s constant natter in battle, I’m going to have to disagree and wonder if you’re secretly an Atlus employee begging me to forgive the mind-numbing awkwardness of Fuuka’s in-battle lines, Junpei. Yukari admits to being a little jealous of Mitsuru. She should be, because skill-wise, she gets shunted in favor of the latter.

Ahem. We go to take photos at the arcade.

6/16. Mitsuru informs us outside school that we don’t need her around if we want to go to Tartarus, but that we still won’t be allowed to go if neither her nor Akihiko are present. At lunch, Junpei seems a little distressed as he asks us out and says he needs a favor. He outright pleads with us when we tell him we’re not available. However, it’s Yukari we hang out with today.

When we head over to the strip mall, she’s trying to decide where to go when she notices her wallet is gone. She had it at the station earlier, and someone bumped into her there, so she wants to go back and check. We offer to go with her, but she tells us to wait here. We do, but it’s a while that we’re standing there without her showing back up, so we decide to go look for her. Good thing too, because she seems to have landed herself in trouble with gang members again with her big mouth. One of the gang leader’s creepier associates implies a desire to sexually assault her, and being a no-nonsense bitch with a proficiency in kicking ass, we head over to help her. Although the odds are against us, doing so leads to attention being attracted from passerby, and the thugs split. When we’re safe, she expresses a lot of anger, but she’s shaking and seems to be scared. I sympathize, but also: you carry around a fake gun, do you not…?

Not only is she pissed off at those human-shaped piles of shit, she’s pissed off at herself. She said she wouldn’t rely on others, but she needed someone else’s help at a time like this. Understanding her anger, we RANK UP.

Back at the dorm, we ask Akihiko for ‘non-pro protein’. He fetches us some ‘amateur-level’ juice for bodybuilding. We take it to Theo, who apparently had a bet with Igor that ‘protein’ did too mean ‘professional’. Losing, he now has to drink an entire bottle of it in one go.

“Please do not be surprised if my muscles have doubled in size the next time you visit the Velvet Room.”

Hey, I wouldn’t complain, Theo. We go to the coffee shop that night.

6/17. Edogawa drones on about magic again, but this time we’re asked a question on the origins of it. The correct answer is ‘shamanism’. Today, we spend time in student council.

Hidan doesn’t seem to be in today. When asked where he might be, P3P actually shocks me by dropping the d-word, with a snide member saying he’s off playing Private Dick. Mitsuru says he’s got good intentions, but agrees that he might be taking the matter of the student who was smoking—which we only learned about on lunch break once—a bit far. We leave, but edgy music plays in the first floor hallway. A student is yelling about evidence, and Hidan denies needing any. The student he’s dealing with apparently was arrested for beating up a snitch. Audience members in the commotion remark that this is the third person today that Hidan has accused. He is, in fact, acting like a douchey interrogator, and is on the fast track to getting socked in the teeth. We attempt to intervene, but Hidan gets punched before we can.

As you can imagine, though the event comes to an end, he’s pissed off. We apparently look ready to say something, and mention that he’s working hard, in what I imagine is a raised-eyebrow sort of voice rather than calling him out directly. Hidan insists that the problem will only get worse if people are allowed to get away with breaking rules, though he’s now starting to sound convinced that anarchy will actually break loose. He’s aware people think he’s a DICK (dictatorial investigator council kid), but thinks that’s just the card he’s been dealt. We RANK UP when he expresses his trust in us.

When we get back to the dorm, Junpei is wondering if the lobotomized Lost will ever recover, Akihiko is expounding on a healthy balance in battle and how his Persona performs as such, and Mitsuru informs us that her Persona, Penthesilea, is weak to fire but strong with ice. We play the quiz game at the arcade.

The morning of 6/18, we’re called by Theodore, who wants us to come to the Velvet Room to hear about something. We are reminded by gossip on the way to class that Kirijo Group built the school and basically owns it. Surprisingly, we’re put straight in the Velvet Room after class instead of going there manually. He informs us that, like Fuuka was, there is someone who’s fallen into Tartarus and gotten stuck there, between floors 44 and 47. We need to rescue them, and we need to do it before the next full moon, or they’ll be lost. We can keep an eye out for lost people on the bulletin board at the mall, and we’ll get rewards from Officer Kurosawa if we get them back.

This time, we spend time with Junpei. We go to the library, surprisingly, but Junpei quickly gives up on being able to do his homework by himself. Between feigning being a poor student to make him feel better and offering to help, we choose the latter. Math in particular is alien to him, but he buckles down and resolves to get it done, in which we support him. …And he does it! Nice! We congratulate him on actually doing it, and he talks about unlocking potential. But then…the sad music plays. Oh no…

Junpei says he thought he’d actually try really hard for once, and gets a tad philosophical in his own way, remarking that living in the moment is fun, but has gotten unsatisfying for him. He says he hasn’t found what’s important for him yet, but he will if he’s with us and friends, and starts to blush. We agree, and he’s relieved that we didn’t laugh at him. According to him, us always excelling so much has made him want to do so, too. Trust us, Junpei, we aren’t in a bunch of clubs and on student council because we find it just so enjoyable. He continues though, and it’s all really sweet. RANK UP! We’re not done yet, because Junpei soon spots someone looking our way, and then hiding. Shit, is that a camera? Oh boy, now he’s fired up! But the guy runs off before we can catch him. Still, Junpei says, we know his face now, so we’re to just leave it to him. We encourage him and tell him to beat some ass for us. In turn, he reminds us not to be out late on our way home.

We go out to play photo poses at the arcade.

6/19, we arrive straight at lunch, where Hidan talks to us. The schedule for today is Akihiko.

He brings us to the strip mall, claiming he knows a really good place to eat, which turns out to be the beef bowl shop. A tad underwhelming. Before he can expand on how good beef is, two fangirls come by. There is no shame in these girls’ game as they ‘instantly rush up to Akihiko and begin violating his personal space’. Zero care is given towards him as they give him hollow compliments and all but jump his dick, declaring themselves to be very single, and Akihiko’s single, soooooo? We, a female, don’t escape their agitated notice. Akihiko isn’t having it though, and we ditch these hellions together. By the time we resurface from our beef bowls and exit, they’re gone. We don’t bring it up, instead letting him know the food was great. He wonders if those girls wanted to have beef bowls, too.

It’s like Junpei sucked every ounce of sexual awareness out of Akihiko and Theodore, I swear. Yeah hon, they wanted beef alright, but not the kind you’re thinking.

> “Don’t you want a girlfriend?” (UM….)
> “So, what’s your type?” (That’s…. a little less loaded, right?)

No Akihiko, we don’t mean your preferred type of beef bowl. He does get it right eventually, however. Does he answer? Sort of, but his Tragic Backstory^TM seems to be getting in the way again. ‘No time for girls’, reports the buff boi. RANK UP! He does try to give a proper answer, but he gets cold feet and backs out, complete with blush. The right answer when a girl asks that, he’s been told, is always ‘girls like you’, but he’s got no shame in admitting that that sounds like a poor reflex to have—I agree. Oh, and Junpei was the one to tell it to him.

That night, the boy in the baseball cap is off to the store, so no Tartarus for him. What’s he looking for there? A legendary sword. What we’re looking for there is coffee.

6/20. Gossip tells us Mitsuru is going overseas when she graduates. The woman herself comes to us after class to let us know to come to the 4^th floor meeting room, so we go straight there after school. When we get there, Fuuka’s playing with a white dog outside the dorm. Said dog has not only white fur, but red eyes, so he’s obviously important. She calls him Koromaru.

Koromaru can shake hands and go nuzzle hands when directed to say hello, so he seems to be pretty smart. He was found sitting by the shrine, and a passerby indicates he goes on walks by himself, as his former owner at the shrine who used to do it with him has passed away. Hit by a car, didn’t survive.

DEATH IS INEVITABLE: 16

Actually, I just reminded myself of something. I never gave Yukari a point for her dad being dead, did I?

DEATH IS INEVITABLE: 17

As for Koro-chan, the lady reports that he sits by the site of the accident now, and goes for his walk every day. She leaves, and Yukari is taken with how loyal Koromaru is. We leave him behind, having a meeting with the chairman to get to.

Ikutsuki apparently wants to talk about research he’s been doing on the Full Moon Shadows. He starts off by saying shadows are divided into 12 categories by their characteristics. Yep, their Arcana.

Arcana Believe It: 18

He lets us know what we already pointed for, that the Full Moon Shadows are the Arcana—we’ve beaten the Magician, the Priestess, the Empress, and the Emperor. Junpei says what we’re all thinking and wonders if this is something to be excited about. Fuuka remarks that that must mean there’s 12 in all.

Thirteen, actually. Fourteen if the Fool really was handled offscreen. Junpei asks what these Shadows are after, and Ikutsuki admits that he doesn’t know their motive yet.

And he never finds out, by the way. None of us do. They’re given a general purpose later on, but as for why they keep appearing, and causing havoc in the city, and feeding on peoples’ minds? We get no explanation whatsoever. There needed to be bosses. That’s it.

Bad Game Design: 25

Yes, twelve points. One for every pointless part of the game. You’d think they’d work harder on these, since there’s fourteen fucking bosses in it. And no, no one has got any ideas on the reason for Tartarus’ existence.

After that irritating scene, we go play the quiz game. But first, we mention needing a glasses wipe to Ikutsuki. He gives us one, which we take to Theo. He appears to have wanted it...simply because, I guess. We get some clothing for it.

On 6/21, we go to the Oracle and boost our Yukari Social Link. While we’re there, we see Yukari and Junpei talking with Ken Amada again. We also see Striped Shirt. We try to talk to him, but we aren’t Smart yet. We get a thousand yen along with a Lovers boost at the shrine. Back at the dorm, Yukari and Fuuka talk about Koromaru, and Junpei wishes he was a dog so he could maintain a girl’s attention. They ignore him, rightfully so. We go for coffee that night.

6/22. Yukari mentions outside the gates that there’s too much we don’t understand—we agree, hard. Akihiko’s preoccupied with something at lunch. In class, Ms. Terauchi mentions many European countries don’t serve octopus because they’re feared as “devilfish”. Is that what they tell y’all over in Japan? I dunno about any devilfish stigmas in Europe, but in America, we just find octopuses more fun to look at than eat. She asks Junpei which other fish is NOT known as a devilfish, and the answer is ‘jellyfish’. Those probably actually deserve the title, since they’re just little floating pieces of hell itself that come up from the depths of the sea.

We spend time at cooking club with Fuuka today. She’s down to make chocolate truffles. Fuuka’s problem with making food is immediately clear as we go through it: second-guessing the recipe, trying to add things in, etc., and we offer to help. We make our own, acquiring another date item. We don’t find out how well Fuuka did until after we RANK UP, but we do know she’s having fun! And that’s what’s important! Oh, but she did use a cup of liqueur instead of a teaspoon. And it wasn’t liqueur, it was vinegar. Upon having this pointed out to her, she deflates a bit—she wants to be as helpful as possible, and was hoping to do that by learning to make food for the team. But she doesn’t give up.

Back at the dorm, Fuuka has found out about a strange explosion ten years ago that happened at the school, around the same time period as a large number of students refusing to attend (!), and Junpei wonders why people transmogrify into coffins during the Dark Hour. Already asked that one, Junpei, you don’t get an answer. He also lets us know about the still-malfunctioning equipment in the command room. When we investigate, there’s a new recording dated 6/14.

On it, we see Junpei’s room. Mitsuru and Officer Kurosawa come in, the former in alarm because she thinks a thief broke in and rummaged around the room. She’s worried about Junpei, who hasn’t responded on his cell in the last half hour. Before Kurosawa can explain the obvious, Junpei himself walks in. Poor dude now has to explain that no, his room wasn’t trashed by an attacker, it just always looks like this. He wasn’t responding because he was asleep at the manga cafe. Neither Mitsuru nor Junpei comes out of there saving face.

We take photos at the arcade for the last time, because our Charm maxes out from Angelic to Bewitching.

Dark Hour cut-in!

In a Tatsumi Port Island (I’m gonna call that TPI from now on) back alley, a coffin...un-transmogrifies? A thug is left confused. An evil voice announces the presence of a skinny, shirtless, tattoo-laden man with long blond hair and a circlet with yellow eyes who screams ‘evil’ so much you’d know it even if he didn’t point a gun at the dude and murder him after offering up a faux-philosophical monologue while talking about how magnificently his victim squeals. I should also note that the dude, who looks suspiciously similar to Jesus, is accompanied by a guy and a girl. The guy screams ‘Evil Nerd’ so hard it’s painful on my ears, and the girl is an Emotionless Gothic Lolita with flowing red hair tied up in white ribbons. They re-used Grant George again for Evil Nerd, so there’s now three Shinjiros running around. They apparently are hitmen who had a contract on the dude, but they also seem to have un-coffin’d him somehow, and kill their targets in the Dark Hour, so they’re clearly more than they seem.

Yep, these are our villains. 2006 did ‘em that way. We will unfortunately be seeing a lot of them. Counts?

DEATH IS INEVITABLE: 18

Oh look! An onscreen murder!

Calm Down There, Edgelord: 13

One for Jesus-dude looking like Jesus for no reason, one for that whole scene being of no relation at all to the main plot. It introduces our villains, but not them doing or talking about anything to do with us or our story.

It also initiates the first of our three character-specific counts! These people are obviously villainous, in case you couldn’t tell.

Villainous Cancer: 03

One for each blatantly obvious evil character and their participation in a hired murder, because we wouldn’t be able to tell otherwise, don’t you know.

6/23. Gossip talks about a revenge request website, which is what the dudes we literally just talked about work for. We spend time with Saori at the library today. We actually have a lot of work as the library’s pretty busy.

The same chick who borrowed Saori’s notes the other day runs in, to tell us a friend of hers lost them. Saori takes this in amazing stride. After the flow of traffic slows down and our day is done, we offer to stay a little longer with her now that it’s quieted down. Saori would like to do her homework, but someone lost her notes. Rather than draw attention to it, we just offer her ours. She declines, and is still almost too placid about having her kindness abused. We suggest she confront that girl, but she shies away from it. RANK UP!

That evening, something is going down at the ramen shop. It’s Akihiko, who walks in and says he’ll have what Shinjiro’s having. Hey Shinjiro!

The gist of the meeting is the former trying to convince the latter to re-join SEES, which he seems to have abandoned prior to our arrival. The latter is staunchly refusing and walks out on him. Apparently, some specific incident sparked him leaving and not ever wanting to come back. How intriguing.

At the dorm, Junpei brings up the shadows’ Arcana. They can be told apart by their masks. No, that’s not worth a point.

Mr. Tanaka is out again, and asks for another 10,000 yen. Tanaka is stunned that we fork it over without calling him out on his blatant deception, and calls us ignorant and naive. He does offer to take us under his wing, so to speak, and get rid of those qualities.

He offers us an autograph, and being the suck-up we are, we pretend to actually be a fan. He formally introduces himself, and no, he isn’t giving us back our 40,000 yen. Fuck. He doesn’t hesitate to walk off and mutter rude things to us the moment he thinks we’re out of earshot. When we loudly clear our throat, he gets uppity, and threatens us to forget anything we heard and not even dare think about letting anyone know he scammed us, and says, when we agree, that we’ll be made to swallow a thousand needles if we’re lying. Regardless of how shaky a first rank up it is, we get our Social Link—predictably, this asshole gives us the Devil Link. We are told we can come by whenever he’s here and get more lessons on not being a fucking idiot.

6/24, Junpei asks us if we think Yukari’s been acting weird. After class, we finally spend time with our neglected Bebe.

Right off the bat, something is wrong, as Bebe’s unusually quiet. We let him know that he looks down, and he seems touched that we can tell. Last night, he got a call—his aunt passed away…

…… *Sigh*

DEATH IS INEVITABLE: 19

His aunt was a big presence in his life and the reason he was able to come to Japan, and did so much for him without him being able to do anything for her. We RANK UP, having been confided in by a devastated Bebe. That’s it for today—he’s too sad to work right now, unfortunately.

At the dorm, Mitsuru remarks that her Persona is magic-focused, like Yukari’s, but more offensively oriented. Akihiko drones on about being chained to the past, and while the readers of this spork may not realize just how much he’s done that, I’m sick of it. We do a quiz game.

6/25. Edogawa does his thing, wherein he takes over an absent teacher’s class and teaches his material instead of theirs. The answer to his question about natural magic used to look for water sources is ‘dowsing’. He does mention something against altering the flow of time being against natural magic’s laws. We spend time with Junpei after school, and Tender Feeling is playing. Fuck!

A bruise is under Junpei’s eye. Someone clearly punched him, but he waves it off when we ask who did it—though he also blushes. He doesn’t want to say who, but it’s either his dad or the dude who had the photos, and as he announces that no more photos of us are going to be circulating, it’s probably the latter. We thank him, earning another blush. He says that he thinks this is his ‘first time’, and when questioned, he explains that he thought if he laughed his way out of everything, he’d never be in trouble, and that’s why he tries to make everything into a joke. It’s easier than trying to understand other people, he says. Meeting us (and the others, but he says it more as an afterthought), he’s changed. He’s had to learn that everyone has good and bad parts to them, and he got scared. He gets that you can’t understand someone else without saying what you think, which clashes with his method of self-protection.

Seeing someone ‘way smaller than [him]’ (that’s us) give it their all made him ashamed, since he’s never tried his hardest at anything, and he pins this as the reason he’s never happy. My heart is literally breaking over and over again with every word he says.

When he got back those pictures of us, it crossed his mind that he just wanted us to trust him, and that he might be worth something if someone like us could trust him. Rank…...up……

We’re at Rank 9 now. I’m not okay. He’s not even done hurting me after the rank-up!

He says he wishes there were swings here; when he was a kid, he’d ‘get close to the sky and think [he] could go somewhere else… somewhere that isn’t here.’ He wants to ride one with us sometime. I can’t even enjoy the innuendo because 1) he explains how to do so and the joke is lost, and 2) I’m crying.

Contrasting this tear-fest, our nighttime activity is Tanaka. I should mention that this is a ‘semi-auto’ social link—you’ll rank up no matter what answers you pick, so you’re guaranteed a MAX Rank Social Link in 10 meetings. Tanaka tonight teaches the word ‘placebo’ to us—a placebo being a product or service that intends to work by making you think it’s working, roughly. I mean, I think that’s how my psych text described it. He describes it as ‘selling peace of mind’. One must admit that he has a point that people will pay for perceived qualities and peace of mind, even if there isn’t really anything there. RANK UP! And then he reminds us to keep our promise of silence, or he’ll upload our picture to an internet dating site for former prison inmates.

6/26. Theo calls, letting us know another human got lost in Tartarus. I’ll get to it, I swear. Here comes the part where we Social Link with Akihiko, and have to deal with a love interest flag. Let me see if I can read this damn thing right…

Wait. Tender Feeling is playing. FUCK.

We’re in front of the dorm. Akihiko is silent. We ask if he’s feeling sick, and he’s squirming, trying to ask a question—he wants to know if it’s true we’re dating Junpei. Any answer works, since they’re all to the effect of ‘no’, unfortunately. Damn this game not letting me kiss that cute boy. We let him know Junpei’s just a friend though. Us dating was a rumor he heard. Here’s where things get complicated.

> “It’s all right.”
> “Who was saying that?”
> “Don’t get the wrong idea, Senpai.”

According to the guide, choice #1 provides the most points for a fast progression, but choice #3 is a lover flag we’ll need to hit if we want to date him. You need to hit all of the lover flags to secure him as your boyfriend, so if you skip out on one, you forfeit the beef. While Akihiko’s a sweet guy and we would love to date him, we want Personas more. He apologizes for not only listening to a rumor about us, but confronting us over it. He asks if we want something to eat, and we choose spicy food, and then RANK UP.

There’s no quiz game available to increase our last uncapped stat, so we just study in our room tonight. A very pleasant scrawling sound happens.

6/27. Gossip tells us people are passing out unconscious again, this time in pairs. We spent time with Fuuka today in the home ec room, where she wants to make sweet fries, and has thought ahead to get lots of sweet potatoes so there’s room for error, and we encourage her to do her best. She may still be shit at reading the recipe, but she definitely operates the oven like a pro, so she’s not entirely hopeless. Shame she can’t read a cookbook like she reads a device manual. We tell her that’s impressive, and says although she’s usually self-conscious because it doesn’t seem very girly, she knew we wouldn’t judge her. RANK UP! Seeing our fries come out of the oven next to hers gets her a bit down, but like always, she gets right back up.

We get back to the dorm, and ask Fuuka about a Christmas star. Fuuka thinks we’re talking about the ornament on top of a tree, but that’s less than plausible, so she suggests a plant called the “Christmas Star”. She goes and fetches one that she has—a poinsettia. Other dormmates remark that couples apparently in coitus are now becoming victims of shadows. We take the poinsettia to Theo, who wonders if it’s not star season yet, since he can’t see stars growing from it. Nope, just poison. We get some equipment for it, and then play the quiz game.

6/28. Although Fuuka and Junpei do call, we’re supposed to go to the shrine for a boost to our Lovers Link, which we do. 1,000 yen comes our way. That night in the dorm, people speculate over Tartarus’ top. Yukari hopes there’s a control panel there we can use to smash the whole place, while Junpei wonders if there just isn’t a top, which Fuuka finds interesting but frightening. Reminds me of that one stairwell SCP. We study that night, and our Academics finally jumps from Above Average to Smart.

6/29. Mr. Takenozuka talks about Lorentz Force and the left-hand rule. He then asks Junpei which way draining tap water swirls in the northern hemisphere. The answer is that it can go either way, since the force that determines that (the Coriolis Effect) doesn’t apply on such a small scale as that. On larger scales, it’s clockwise in the north, counter-clockwise in the south. We spend time with Akihiko after school.

He takes us to the sweets shop, saying he heard it was popular, though he seems hesitant about going inside given that he’s a guy. Yeah, sugary things obviously aren’t for folks with penises, after all, that’d just be weird (/s). We reassure him, and get some cake with him inside. There’s a certain look on his face, and we ask if he didn’t like it. In response, he says he doesn’t hate having sweets, although he looks like he’d rather eat cement. He blushes as he admits he was surprised at how sugary it was due to not eating such things that often. He also admits, while blushing harder, that he heard girls like sweet things. Akihiko fesses up about not being too into it, before the two girls from before come by again. They immediately accuse us, who they call Junpei’s girlfriend, of ‘stealing all the single guys’. We don’t even respond to them, and Akihiko takes us by the hand (!) and leads us away.

He only lets go when we’re back at the dorm. He apologizes for those two bitches being bitches, and we let him know it’s not his fault. Akihiko mentions he’s had people talking shit about him, too. He did have fun today, though, and mentions he wouldn’t mind trying sweet things again—and brings up pancakes. We are in the cooking club, so we make a mental note. RANK UP!

We get a cutscene this evening. Yukari has met with Fuuka in the command room, and wants her help investigating the incidents of ten years ago, the missing students and the explosion, which she thinks may have involved shadows. She doesn’t want to make trouble, but she has a desperate desire to know. She says Mitsuru tends to act strange when the subject of Tartarus is brought up, and Fuuka agrees to help her. The scene ends, and we retire to our room to study.

6/30. After school, we spend time with Yukari.

She seems uncomfortable when she takes us to the burger joint. She asks if we were angry at her for going off and getting herself in trouble with gangs again when her wallet was lost, and we of course say no—because no one got hurt this time, but we don’t say that part. She mentions again her tendency to blurt out whatever she’s thinking to us, and we respond that it’s because we’re friends. She seems a little surprised by that answer. She says she tends to think of herself as apart from others, but is growing to appreciate and look forward to our proactive approach in befriending her, and then admits she wants someone to express caring about her for once—also singling us out in that matter. We RANK UP.

At the dorm, Mitsuru and Yukari both advise us to be prepared for the full moon operation that happens in a week. We go spend time with Tanaka.

President Tanaka sounds alarmingly smarmy and capitalistic as he tells us to put our faith in stocks and not fear a little thing like bankruptcy. He also says he’s thinking of offering us a job. Though, he reminds us to keep our promise, or he’ll come to our house at midnight and ring the doorbell, every night. I wouldn’t put Mitsuru through that, dude, she probably won’t stand for it. We RANK UP.

Dark Hour cut-in!

We have a visitor tonight. Yes Pharos, we know the damn full moon is in a week, go away.

“Hi. Can you guess what I’m going to tell you?”

Calm Down There, Edgelord: 14

YES. SO STOP IT ALREADY. QUIT HOLDING MY HAND.

No rank-up. We got another incessant visit from you, and not even a rank-up for it.

We’re gonna stop here. The last day of June just passed, this post is 16 pages long, and I have regrets. In future, I’ll just split months into three posts if I have to.

Counts: