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Volume 5 Retrospective | Table of Contents | Volume 6, Episodes 2 and 3

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Alright. So, Before we move ahead with this, we have to address the leak.

Yes, the leak of the footage that was intended to be part of Volume Three, when Adam menaces and fights with Yang. The one Shane talked about.

You can’t find the video on YouTube, but @roosterteethwatchdog on Tumblr still has their original post bearing the video, which I’ll link to here, along with the video itself:

Had to dig deep in the Tumblr code to get that. You’re welcome.

Roosterteethwatchdog had this to say:

Hey so lets talk about this. This is a work in progress of the Adam VS Yang fight that Shane said was cut. So I’ve had this since May I found this on accident in a comment section on YouTube. I was going to some of you here but when I was still deciding weather or not I should RTX came and when the Adam short came out someone, since the link was out in the wild, had the audacity to not only post it on the RWBY reddit (y'know Roosterteeth territory) but also didn’t at least try to hide the name of the person who posted it on they’re dropbox since it was supposed to be a private thing. I had to go warn the individual to take it down since I didn’t want RT breathing down their neck. So if you were there and wondered why the link stopped working after an hour there’s your answer and now it’s back on the reddit and made it’s way here though it got overshadowed by the Adam short.

Anyways back to the vid I contacted the person who put the dropbox on the comment section I found and they showed me a chatlog they had with the person who gave them the link. That person got it from a discord from someone who claimed to be a friend of Monty. That friend also said some other things.

1. Monty came up with the maidens. He pitched it and Miles liked it.

2. Monty wasn’t an assertive person and because of this Miles and Kerry meddled in some of his scenes and changed the overall plot causing Monty to want leave RT.

3. Sheena was supposed to be Winter.

Speaking of Sheena here’s an old AMA I found that she did a couple of weeks after Monty died.

The AMA is here. It’s still available.

Notice how she seemed so excited to cosplay as Winter and she details how she helped Monty with RWBY.

Also the person who gave the chatlog also showed me a conversation because he actually DM’d Shane about this and to his surprise Shane responded and he refused to look at it. Shane’s reasoning being that something felt off and he isn’t “Eager to cause any kind of trouble over anything RT related"

So now with all of this there is a question in that "What does this say about the letter now?” like this exist even if Shane doesn’t want to confirm its validity. (Which if he did would make RT less than pleased) So if anyone has questions or anything of the sort let me know.

EDIT: So this is a detail about the fight that was pointed out by [USER REDACTED BY SURGEWORKS] The song used is a song called “Session” by linkin park. I went back to the letter and read the section where Shane talks about the fight.

I’ve mentioned this multiple times myself.

Naturally, the comments on this post are full of shrieking and crying that this doesn’t mean anything and that Shane is just evil and biased. Here’s a real kicker:

And remember that lunatic I mentioned in the Volume 3 Final Thoughts, who led a harassment mob against a user until a suicide attempt resulted? Yeah, he’s there. Don’t bother him—don’t bring him here. Just remember that that’s the kind of insane stan-dom we’re dealing with, here.

So, let’s take a look at that leaked video, why don’t we?

Can't embed directly, but here's a link.

Adam contemplates an opponent, and Yang stands up from the ground, as though she just entered. Adam strides forward, Yang cocks a shotgun gauntlet, and fires. Several shots are fired—all of them glance right off of Adam’s aura without even causing a scratch, and he continues his menacing stride towards her. Drawing Wilt, he sends some kind of whirling red disc at Yang.
“Skip to 1:40” appears, and if we do that, the fight resumes.

Adam glows with power, leaving after-images as he slashes at Yang. There’s a cut between several shots of this, and then in the next cut, Yang is trying to block his slashes with her gauntlets. One such slash is so strong is carves through the wall behind her.

Adam runs back and forth, too fast for her to keep track of, and there’s several cuts back and forth of Adam and Yang striking each other, and the last shot shows Adam throwing his sword into the air. We don’t see how the fight ends—but the harsh, distorted scream that closes out “Session” by Linkin Park gives a good idea.

So, yeah, that’s what the Adam and Yang confrontation in Volume 3 would’ve originally looked like. This was obviously a work in progress, as you can see the incomplete fight environment and detail guides hovering over Yang’s face that would typically only appear inside the computer generation software. Several shots are re-used from earlier work, most prominently Yang vs. Junior and Yang vs. Neo in the movements when Yang is shooting and how her shotgun blasts dissolve around a barrier when Adam is tanking them.

You’ll see some of this fight re-created in the inevitable Adam confrontation that appears late in this upcoming volume, but obviously no one was going to say the obvious—that it was hastily remade in the new software so that people could rest safe on the assumption that it must’ve just been cut to use at a later date. But assuming that much is beyond me, because I’m not a RWBY stan and I don’t take whatever routes I can find to defend Rooster Teeth at any cost.

So let’s take a look at the Adam Short that Rooster Teeth had already completed, airing far too soon to change in the same way:

Volume 6 Adam Short

We open up on alleyway behind a building, where some bandits wearing veils and masks are running an amateur burglary, messing with the circuit breakers. The four people, all faunus, are all obviously new to breaking and entering, and unsure of themselves. They are happened upon by an approaching figure, one who speaks with much more confidence.

A: No. It’s time we stood up for ourselves.

???: Adam…?

A: Our kind’s been beaten… Murdered… Treated like dogs. Taking this dust is only illegal in the eyes of the same people who call us animals! …It’s time we got what we deserved.

A mask is in hand, and the camera follows it as he brings it up to hide his eyes—a very obvious hint telling the viewer to wonder what his eyes actually look like. The mask itself is “custom” as one of the amateur heisters describes it, although not as much as it would later be: this is the progenitor of the masks the modern White Fang wear.

Why Adam was wearing a mask in the Black Trailer was obviously so that people would not immediately be able to tell that he was a stolen Grimmjow model. No one really worried about it, because it also seemed like it was mostly meant to look cool when he did his “moonslice” thing. But some murmurings did start up in Volume Three when he continued to wear it outside of active combat. But by this point in time, for obvious reasons, there’s some murmurings in the RWBY community that Adam might have silver eyes. We’ll talk more about this later.

Adam describes the mask as a sort of brand, a calling card, an image that those attacked by the White Fang can associate with them without actually being able to identify individual members. Adam, still bearing a suit and his sword, slashes the lock open and allows the heisters into the building. Then, we cut to a new scene.

Bullets are being fired at a truck parked in a clearing running through the woods. White Fang members, including Ilia, Adam, and an unmasked Sienna Khan, are taking shelter from the attack on the other side of the truck. Ghira Belladonna is also present, poking his head out long enough to beg reprieve, saying they just want to pass through. The attacking humans deny them, still trying to kill them simply for being there. Ghira is shot with an electric bullet, and the other members of the White Fang are spurred to action.

“Lionize” plays as Adam goes on a one-man counterstrike, blocking every bullet shot at him and beating up the attacking humans with blunted strikes with the sheath or pommel of his sword or just kicking the shit out of them, mostly leaving them on the ground groaning but for the last one—a cowardly bastard, who sees Adam's effectiveness and, rather than try to take him on, tries to get behind the truck to shoot the others. Adam is too far away to make up the difference on foot, and making use of his semblance, whirls out a red slash of energy that is implied to carve the guy right in half.

Oh, wait, not implied—the dude is actually dead on the ground in a pool of blood. Color me shocked!

The animation quality here is about on par with the Weiss trailer—but for the red circle discs that have reappeared, and are going to get worse. And are going to get points.

Your Fight Scene Sucks: 81

As Ghira fearfully steps out from behind the truck, two humans who were hiding behind a tree call the faunus “freaks” before running away, and Adam grits his teeth. Ghira has something to say:

G: …That wasn’t necessary. [gestures at the dead dude on the ground] This is the very reason they think they—

S: Ghira! He saved your life. He’s a hero!

I’m with Adam and Sienna on this one, guys. Rooster Teeth’s attempt to show us some actual sorrows of the faunus i.e. that they literally get attacked and murdered by humans just for being present, is undercut by Ghira’s attempt to say that Adam’s kill—firmly and unquestionably self-defense, and furthermore his only option to save lives—was too far, and furthermore it’s the reason that they get harassed.

RSVP: 49

Did you guys know there are towns in America where black people still aren’t safe—not just in general, but at any moment? A post was making the rounds a couple years back about Vidor, Texas, but that’s only one such “sundown town”. There are others, too. Strongholds of virulent racism in America, where black people are at risk of harassment all the way up to lynching, survive into the modern day, albeit quieter in recent years. I have to wonder if this was a connection we were supposed to make, or if Rooster Teeth imagine that that's just a thing that doesn't happen. I have to consider the latter because, well, track record at this point.

Adam receives cheers from the surrounding faunus for acting in their defense, and tensions rise between Sienna and Ghira. And we cut to a new scene.

Atop a forest in Forever Fall, Adam is apologizing to Blake, trying to explain that something he did was an accident. It took me forever to figure out why Bumbleby shippers were going absolutely insane over this Adam Short as a whole, and I finally got shown this screenshot,

which is apparently proof that Blake is into Yang because she’s bisexual and she’s bisexual because the background behind her looks like the bisexuality flag if you have a very strong confirmation bias. Look who else is in this picture.

*in the voice you hear in your head when reading meme tweets* Diversity win! The violent misogynistic lunatic who chopped up two women is bisexual!

Actually, you know what, I better not speak something like that into existence. Rooster Teeth aren't above it.

B: This wasn’t the first time humans have died on missions you’ve led. How many more ‘accidents’ are there going to be?

Were these ‘accidents’ anything like what we just saw in the scene before? Because if they are, I think there should be as many as necessary.

Adam asks what she wants him to do—he’s fighting for the cause, and when you fight, people get hurt. Does she want him to abandon the cause, like her parents? This response wounds Blake, who denies it, and experiences doubt. Adam apologizes again.

A: …I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought them up. I just get scared when it feels like you don’t believe in me anymore.

B: [She slowly approaches, and puts her hand on his arm] …I never said that.

A: …Thank you, Blake. It’s good to know I’ve still got you.

The two smile at each other, though Blake is clearly still not in a good place. We cut to a fight scene.

Sienna is dismantling security robots much the same as were seen in the Black Trailer, with Ilia at her side.

Band-Aid Brigade: 15

I told you people were pissed about her death. Rooster Teeth heard and got that good Walgreens-brand shit out. With Spongebob on 'em and everything.

I was prepared to forgive the excessive slow-motion and the run cam until Adam popped in with that fidget spinner bullshit.

Your Fight Scene Sucks: 82

And yes, this made it into the meme box.

Schnee’s human security forces come out, and the White Fang take a defensive stance, until a smoke bomb is deployed their way.

Sienna and Adam forge ahead, while Ilia and other White Fang members are struggling. Before too long, Sienna and Adam have dusted Schnee’s guards and Adam has entered killbot mode:

But Sienna stops him and they keep moving. A voiceover brings us to the next scene.

S: You continue to be an extraordinary resource to this organization.

A: Everything I do is for the faunus.

Adam is kneeling in front of Sienna in her big throne chamber, and stands when she grants him leadership of the Vale cell of the White Fang. After he thanks her and begins to leave, she tells him that if he keeps going on his current path, he might just be standing beside her at her throne.

The scene transitions to present day, after Adam’s coup and ascension to that very throne. He receives an update from several mooks saying the raid on Haven will be more complicated than previously thought, but Adam tells them not to worry.

A: …It’s time I got what I deserved.

We cut to Adam in the woods, immediately after the failed attempt at blowing up Haven’s CCT that is still the dumbest thing ever.

His mask drops off his face, and Adam pants, evidently having run quite far. The screen fades to black, and the short ends.

*sigh* So, yeah, you can probably see why RWBY fans weren’t exactly impressed with this short.

Yes, the fighting was extensive, but every minute of half-decent action that was shown was just a reminder of what they should have shown in Volume Five’s climax, and what fans didn’t get. Not necessarily too little, but definitely way too late. And all of this being a prequel, it didn’t fix anything that actually happened in Volume Five, despite trying. It's kind of like Piers showing up in a shit ton of Resident Evil comics that took place before RE6--no one cared because it didn't change anything.

And yes, it tried. You can tell by the framing of the events and the dialogue between the characters that this is supposed to show Adam’s slow descent from freedom fighter to terrorist—something more akin to what he was implied to have gone through prior to the Black Trailer. That doesn’t work either, because Adam was already too far removed from that, again by what happened to Volume Five.

This short does not present any logical connection between “sometimes people get hurt” and “humans should serve the faunus” because there isn’t one to be made. Everyone knows full well that that’s a gap that just can’t be bridged.

Even within the context of the ‘descent’ shown, a lot of it isn’t exactly logical. Adam’s first kill looks entirely defensible—a violent human racist is trying to kill him and his crew, and not only that, but upon seeing Adam’s fighting prowess, decides to target the more vulnerable faunus hiding away. The next time we see Adam attempt to kill, it’s an already-defeated human who’s on the ground whose job was security. The truth is, you really can’t show a descent like that in seven minutes.

Band-Aid Brigade: 16

There’s also a crap ton of stuff left to dangle. Why does Adam dress like someone way richer than the average faunus? Why does he just walk around with this eerie blood-red sword? How did he get so good at using it when his peers appear to be first-time heisters who are unarmed? The only question Volume 6 seems intent on answering, judging by the repeated teasing, is what’s under Adam’s mask, a question fans weren’t really interested in seeing answered anymore. Pretty much everyone had guessed by now that it was silver eyes—but then, that plot point had been so neglected the past two volumes, people didn’t really care about that anymore, either.

Without any of that, what’s left? Sienna? Rooster Teeth ought to have known before now that Capcom’s typical strategy of “give a popular character killed off way too soon some prequel screentime” doesn’t really make people any less pissed off.

So, I guess we should head into the volume proper, now.

V6E1, “Argus Limited”

We open on a forested hill, experiencing snowfall. We cut across multiple parts of the landscape, until panning down the side of a frozen mountain, then catching view of a train speeding along its tracks.

RWBY and friends are defending the train from Grimm atop its roofs, aided by cannons built into the train’s car roofing. Right away, I notice Weiss doing her “glide” move along her glyphs way, way slower than usual.

Your Fight Scene Sucks: 83

The first part of the sequence ends in Blake and Yang situated next to each other in a way that is not necessarily suspicious but which has me raising my eyebrows a bit.

The fight continues.

JNPR (with Oscar Pine making up the “P” I guess) climb up onto the traintop to assist as well, with Oscar running towards the engine and everyone else assisting with the fight. Everyone runs to follow him, but I notice some really, really bad animation in the progress.

First, Nora pointing her grenade launcher at a Grimm which then goes “poof” and vanishes, literally just disappearing in a cartoonish cloud, not even being vaulted back or anything.

Your Fight Scene Sucks: 84

Evisceration Evasion: 31

That one’s getting the extra point because of how utterly lazy it is.

Then, we see Ren firing his machine pistols. You can’t hear it in the gif, but Ren’s Stormflower shots (the green flashes) are occurring way too slow, noticeably and drastically out of sync with the sound of his bullets firing. That’s never occurred before, and is a very glaring oversight.

Your Fight Scene Sucks: 85

Immediately after, we have a Ren-and-Nora combo attack which takes way too long, is animated far too slowly, and results in Nora just smashing her hammer down on a Grimm—or, a few inches in front of the Grimm, without actually connecting.

Your Fight Scene Sucks: 88

And while all this is happening, camera rules are being completely flouted, with the camera orbiting the cast at several different angles, constantly spinning and moving around, and never keeping anyone on a particular side of the screen so we can properly track what’s going on.

This is ugly. This is beyond subpar, this is ugly. What the hell happened to the animation budget that was fueling the already-lacking Adam short???

You know what else is ugly? What happens when Jaune yells “Tunnel!” and everybody charges forward to, uh, get back in the train I guess? Or just duck? I don’t know why they run forward. But a fire blast from a Grimm catches Weiss in the ankle and she almost falls off the train—Ruby catches her in what in a moment I’m raising my eyebrows at as well, and then uses her semblance to fly them both back atop the train and into the tunnel.

Jesus Christ in crocs, that’s ugly. What is going on?! I didn’t realize Ruby’s semblance allowed her and nearby allies to coalesce into jelly-like flying blobs, now.

Your Fight Scene Sucks: 89

LuLaRwe: 14

Ill Logic: 81

That last point being for Weiss, who is again in danger of falling despite literally being able to stand on air. We cut to black, and I mourn the lack of braincells possessed by RWBY stans, and you know why?

Because they said this was good. They said this was an improvement. They said this was high-quality animation and a step up from Volume Five. This garbage.

It was obvious why they said this, of course. They would’ve said it even if RWBY, Volume 6, Episode 1 had been animated in stop-motion via pictures drawn in crayon on construction paper. I distinctly remember being absolutely floored that people unironically called this good, when this is some of the lowest-quality animation I’ve ever seen out of this studio.

And they would’ve said it anyway because they were bitter and they were stans. To a stan that has made a particular piece of entertainment their whole life, their whole online presence, and attached themselves to it with industrial super glue, no flaws are acceptable. What they love must always be the best, and always be worthy of praise, and any criticism is not tolerated. Volume Five was so memetically bad and viciously mocked that these stans who sat around trying to bleat that okay, maybe it wasn’t all that great, but it wasn’t the worst thing ever…? Naturally, they went into Volume 6 with their opinions on it decided before the first episode even started.

You see this all the time in kpop, particularly in bigger fandoms surrounding very successful acts from wealthy companies—they latch on hard the second anything is announced and they will not accept any flaw in it, even if that flaw is glaring and serious and even a hazard to someone, because if they stan something that’s flawed, that would mean the object of their blind affection isn’t winning, and if it isn’t winning, they aren’t winning. It’s all for an imagined sense of clout that mutates into a form of obsession that is honestly very concerning a times.

Of course, there weren’t that many of these stans left to go to bat for RWBY. Still enough to be a headache, but not enough to drown out all the mockery anymore.

Well, what do we fade into from that black screen?

Well, we fade into the throne room once occupied by Sienna Khan. Faunus of the White Fang are murmuring dissent from Adam, who arrives and tells them to get away from his throne. Adam endures mockery from the White Fang members, who have heard tell that he abandoned his brothers at Haven, and that he folded the second Blake talked back to him. Naturally, Adam doesn’t take this too well, and gives Wilt some exercise.

Evisceration Evasion: 32

That’s for the fact that we only hear the sounds of slaughter—not even over a black screen and preceding the carnage afterward, we actually hear the sounds as we’re panning over the dead bodies, which is incongruent with the still models. Even though we see blood, we don’t see it shed—the whole thing is just…skipped, like always. Brushed under the rug.

Guys, how little cash were you paying your animators, seriously? By the sounds of it, Adam just chopped these guys up one-handed with a single swipe apiece, so even if we’d gotten to see this, it would’ve just been more “Aura? What’s that?”, and you couldn’t even be bothered to show that much? Get it together, seriously.

Not to mention, while the faunus are right to mock Adam, we are still glossing over how they heard this information to begin with, and why it’s so damaging to their loyalties when Adam’s command has held up through everything else. You’re getting points.

Ill Logic: 82

For how nonsensical that is as a whole.

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Veil: 29

For how obvious it is that they’re tired of this subplot and want it over with.

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge: 13

For how they appear to be trying to mollify audiences with that one faunus voicing the common irritated sentiment, that Adam folded the second Blake showed up.

Adam murmurs Blake’s name, carves up the throne behind him, and yells his rage to the skies as we fade back to black.

We cut to a train station in Anima, showing several available destinations on a board. Vale’s departure services are obviously discontinued, but Shion’s appear to be up and running.

Ill Logic: 84

RNJR were at Shion, remember? That place was destroyed by bandit attacks and Grimm! And there most certainly was not a train station there!

Q: It’s been two weeks since the attack on Haven.

The official story is pretty much exactly what happened, with the minor detail alteration that Leonardo Lionheart, per the story, tragically died in the school’s defense. Qrow’s narration turns out to be him writing a letter, to James Ironwood, and declaring their intentions to get to Atlas. Ruby, excited, bumps into Qrow as he deposits his letter in a post box, and by the way she’s looking at the train station, you’d think she was Harry watching the Hogwarts Express roll in ~~(I apologize for this comparison, couldn't think of a better train-related one in editing so I just left it)~~. For absolutely no reason, Ruby uses her semblance to blitz around the station and into the gift shop. It’s both unnecessary and really ugly.

I really do not understand why we've had this downgrade. Ruby's semblance looked great in Volume 4--why make it so...ugly?

Everyone is annoyingly excited, as if this is some vacation, as Ruby tries to hide what she bought from Yang and Nora wonders if it’s too early for beach season. Weiss, wearing a red scarf for some reason, says the following:

W: Well, I’m glad you’re all excited. But I don’t think you appreciate the trouble I went through to leave Atlas.

You know what?

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge: 14

She’s right, and she’s pointing out fan grumblings that started up around the last episode of Volume Five. I apologize if I didn’t elaborate on this, because there’s a lot of things that fans were pissed off about when it came to Volume Five. But I do distinctly remember one of the prominent complaints being “Why is the story heading back to Atlas when Weiss just left there?”

This is another one of those ways you can tell that RWBY is written by the seat of a few people’s pants. Weiss didn’t contribute much of anything to Volume Five’s Haven arc that couldn’t have been accomplished by another character—she lost her fight to Vernal, and got injured so Jaune could discover his healing semblance. She didn’t contribute anything hugely necessary. If she had stayed in Atlas, the overall plot would’ve proceeded pretty much the same except without the Queen Lancer fight and someone else getting speared by Cinder.

Ruby says Weiss will have the whole of Team RWBY by her side, and then comes an intermission of the sort I tried vehemently to block out of my memory: komedy.

Yes, that shit returns in Volume 6, after having been sparse throughout the previous two volumes. That’s a thing this season, and every season afterward, and it’s never, ever good.

Two smarmy, smug, self-assured dudes walk up bearing weapons, and identifying themselves as Y.D. and Dudley.

They explain that they’ve been hired to protect the train as it moves through Grimm territory—and they begin plying for a tip from the heroes in order to give their cabin “special attention”, not only preying on the anxieties of their clients, but evidently not taking note of the vibrant colors and gigantic weapons marking the people they’re talking to as the very capable heroes.

There’s no point I can give this yet. But if it keeps up I’m willing to make one. Just so you guys can see how disturbingly Volume One-ish we’ve regressed to, I’ll include a gif of this nonsense.

Qrow and his students are obviously not impressed with these two, who by their very demeanor are unlikely to live up to their own self-aggrandizing. He lets them know as much, and also says they left the staff entrance to the caboose open. They stalk off to correct their mistake. Ozpin, in Oscar’s head, comments:

Oz: I do hope those weren’t Beacon graduates.

Well, why shouldn’t they be? Would you not know? You would have taught them if so, after all.

Before anyone can leave, we have to account for Blake, who is elsewhere saying goodbye.

You see, Ilia will not be joining this volume’s cast on their journey. Sure hope someone picks up that phone, ‘cause I fucking called it!

The White Fang are a thing of the past, and Ilia feels hope when she thinks of the New Good Pure Christian Movement Ghira is starting, so she’ll be offscreen somewhere doing that. And then Rooster Teeth gay baits:

Yeah, that was gay bait. Blatant gay bait. There was no reason to show Ilia running to Blake from the ground only, and then cut upward to reveal it was a hug, and not a kiss. They could’ve just had Ilia do that from a standard wide shot.

How To Piss Off Gay People: 13

They’re pissing me off bad with this first episode.

Ilia is regretful that Blake has to go and do world-saving stuff, and wonders where Sun is. He’s there when his name is spoken, as one does when poking their head out of the burlap sack Rooster Teeth shove all their ignored and downplayed cast members into.

And he isn’t the only one taking a big gulp of air before going back in, either.

WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN?!

YOUR SCHOOL WAS ATTACKED, AND YOU WERE NOT EVEN SO MUCH AS MENTIONED FOR AN ENTIRE VOLUME!!! ROOSTER TEETH, YOU’RE PRACTICALLY RUBBING THIS IN MY FACE, NOW!!!

Love To Be a Part of It Someday: 74

Neptune very rudely shoves Sun towards Blake, saying to hurry up because they have their own trip to plan.

*steam pouring from ears and eyes on fire* Yes. Sun is officially being kicked out of the plot again, and you know what?

How To Piss Off Gay People: 14

Yeah, this one is definitely a bait for the Seamonkeys shippers. One I’m not impressed by and one that went pretty much spit on by Seamonkeys shippers because people aren’t going to pay your bait any attention if the characters you’re gay-baiting are constantly shooed out of the plot and ignored.

Neptune then tries to flirt with Ilia because ha ha, men flirting with lesbians. No one is happy about that.

How To Piss Off Gay People: 15

B: So, you’re really going to Vacuo?

Vacuum bag, more like it. *furious*

Love To Be a Part of It Someday: 75

S: That’s right! Seeing you reunited with the rest of Team RWBY really made me realize something. I am, like, the worst team leader ever!

*swelling to enormous size*

ROOSTER TEETH! MILES! GRAY! KERRY!

YOU BONE-HEADED, STUBBORN, SPITEFUL, AUDACIOUS SONS OF BITCHES!!! YOU KNOW FULL WELL THIS LITTLE “NOD” TO THE FANBASE WAS A BIG FAT SPIT WAD IN THE EYE TO EVERY FAN OF SUN AND HIS TEAM! YOU DID THIS AND YOU FUCKING KNOW IT!

Wink Wink, Nudge Nudge: 24 (+10)

TEN! TEN POINTS!

Where the fuck do you people get off casting Sun as a bad leader because he’s the only one you couldn’t chainsaw right out of the fucking plot?!? I have had it with this!!!

I’m sorry. I am going to be dramatic. I have put up with this bullshit for way, way, way too fucking long. They took years of my life that I had invested in this shitty show, watching them completely stomp on all of the hype their fanbase had had for these characters, do everything in their power to downplay and ignore them, and they just said “ha ha, you were stupid for expecting that!”

*falling to knees again* They are never, ever, ever going to stop pissing all over me and anyone else that wanted more from Neptune, Sage, and Scarlet, are they?

Sun talks about his plan to show his boys around Shade Academy, and Blake admits she was getting kind of used to having him around. *coldly* Yeah, it bites, doesn’t it?

S: I go where I’m needed!

Liar.

Also? Fuck it. Three times in a single episode is about as much as I can take. What is this, Nickelodeon?

How many instances of piss poor comedy nonsense have we dealt with? I can count several examples from Volume One, Two, and Three--

We’re gonna count the ones from Volume Three and later, since that was the one where there was actually an announcement claiming this was a Super Serious Dark Series Not Suitable For Children anymore. Also, if we counted every example from Volume One alone, we’d be off to an insanely rough start.

Let’s see, a point for the racist “ha-ha” about Blake loving fish, two points for Neptune, a point for this,

a point for Ruby guffawing at Jaune’s shirt for way too long,

And a point each for Smarmy Snake Oil Huntsmen, Neptune popping up behind Sun Scooby-style, and for Sun’s dramatic yelling to a yellow background that he “goes where he’s needed”.

Broke-Ass Clowns: 8

For the record, RWBY isn’t an un-funny series. It’s not totally dull and something I’ve never laughed at. I don’t typically remark on the jokes, because I’m more of a serious writer and I like to spend my time analzying more down-to-earth things. Ruby not knowing what a “tussle” is comes to mind, Yang bouncing Toothy off the walls when he tries to get handsy is worth a few chuckles, and Sun landing in Blake’s arms and saying “My hero!” probably would’ve made me laugh if it hadn’t been preceded by something so uncomfortable. It’s just that these little gags which often have way more effort spent on them than necessary aren’t funny and bug me a lot. They get worse when they break the flow of a scene, or spit in audiences’ faces, or are vaguely racist, or…well, you get the idea.

You know, I just had an idea. I’m looking up the wiki page for Red vs. Blue, and some dots are connecting. Besides the abundantly telling tidbit regarding how Bernie Burns and Matt Hullum would typically write an episode for Red vs. Blue (a largely comedy series and Rooster Teeth’s first major success) the week before it was due to air…Kerry Shawcross is listed as one of its many producers, and Miles Luna one of its many writers. Combined with the sudden jarring reappearance of Neptune, and the sudden abundance of tiresome gags, I’m wondering if this comes down to Kerry taking the reigns back from Miles Luna after the utterly disastrous Volume Five.

And if that’s the case, we can firmly say that tone is not in Kerry’s skillset. Writing in general? Not that either. Anyway, where were we?

S: I go where I’m needed! …And, you don’t need me anymore.

Pay No Attention to the Man Behind the Veil: 30

Onscreen, he’s talking to Blake. Effectively, he’s talking to Rooster Teeth. Or rather, it’s Rooster Teeth talking to their fans.

Blake gets all down, and says that when he says it like that, it sounds sad. Sun responds that it was a lot of fun, but she’s where she’s supposed to be now—and he looks down over the railing to the ground floor, where Team RWBY are. She says she can never thank him enough, and he says that he’s got a feeling she hasn’t seen the last of him.

Yeah, nice try. You weren't going to ever let Sun back in this show Miles, even if you hadn't been forced into a Blake and Yang endgame.

I am, however, a basic bitch and a moron, because Blake then kisses Sun on the cheek, saying she hopes to see him again, and now I have to keep watching to see what this stupid show looks like when it ends and if I’ll be able to rub it in salty Blake/Yang shippers’ faces when it does. You fuckin’ idiots twisted my arm. I’m barely even invested in this relationship anymore, I just wanted the years I spent rooting for it not to be a waste.

So, yeah. *in a dull, half-hearted tone of voice* Suck it, bitches. I guess.

We cut to Sun and Neptune making their way down the stairs at the train station. Neptune, contemplative, says that it feels like Sun is just letting her go. I have no idea what this means, nor Sun’s “It was never about that”. This is Rooster Teeth's CYA, because as we're going to see, baiting the living daylights out of Bumbleby shippers is the official Damage Control direction from here on out.

We cut to the train RWBYJNPRQ have boarded as it passes through the snowy mountains. A pan through the inside cabins shows us this chick, who definitely won’t be important later—

—then pans to RWBY’s cabin. Ruby is playing a handheld game, Weiss is reading a book, Yang is reading a magazine, and Blake has a book in hand but is not reading it.

In a moment that sends my eyebrow to the roof for the third time this episode, an awkward Blake rushes to help Yang get her luggage down from a shelf. Yang notices this and addresses it, telling Blake not to feel like she has to make up for anything, since their relationship is fine.

Qrow walks in, margarita in hand, smart-assing about the touching moment. He’s just about to take Ruby up on her offer to play video games when there’s a rumble throughout the train that knocks the glass out of his hands. Everybody knows at once that Grimm have shown up.

B: Just my luck…

Q: It’s not yours…

Are we seriously crediting Qrow’s dumb semblance with the arrival of Grimm, on a train journey through what has already been established as Grimm territory???

Invisembl: 6

He orders everyone to grab their weapons, and they get moving.

Climbing up atop the train, Qrow finds several gryphon-like creatures that have lion heads instead of eagle heads winging alongside the train. The two dumbass wannabe huntsmen from before, Y.D. and Dudley, are obviously out of their league. The former gets snatched by one of the larger Grimm and carried off.

Qrow and RWBY engage the…what would you call these things? Chimeras? Manticores? In the lunch cabin where JNPR are, Oscar denies Ozpin control, and they hear alarmed yells from the passengers. Meanwhile, atop the train roof, Dudley is sprinting along the train trying to get to safety, before pulling out his scroll, and…making a smart decision?

Dudley activates an automated defense for the train, which bars off all the windows, slides out armor along the cabins, and activates several cannon turrets along the rooftops—all smart defenses against the Grimm.

One of the two really big chimeras signals to the others, who begin firing their fireball attacks at the turrets. Qrow asks what Dudley is doing, the latter firing his rifle at the Grimm amidst the safety of a pair of cannons.

This is about to get very stupid, isn’t it?

JNPR climb up atop the train, and Oscar asks Qrow how he can help.

Q: You can get that idiot to shut off the turrets!

…What?

Q: They’re just drawing the Grimm toward the passengers!

I have no goddamn clue what they’re talking about. Seriously, none. At first I wondered if Qrow was saying that the turrets are just placed too close to the passengers, but they’re placed along the entirety of the train’s rooftops. The way Qrow says it, though, implies that the turrets themselves are attracting the Grimm.

That’s not how that works. Weapons on their own don’t attract Grimm. That would be a blatant and bizarre retcon of established Grimm behaviors.

But then, I realized what I think Qrow was trying to say, which is that the turrets firing is what’s got the passengers scared, which are drawing the Grimm. But that doesn’t make sense either, because we already heard passengers screaming when the Grimm showed up, but before the turrets were activated.

Logistically, though, there is no sensible reason to turn the turrets off, and I am astounded that someone on RWBY’s writing team actually managed to get it into their head that this made sense.

The turrets are there to repel the Grimm. They are literally there to protect the passengers.
The presence of the turrets implies that Grimm attacks are fairly routine and that they are in place because they work at dispatching the Grimm.
Even if the Grimm, as in this instance, are smart enough to try and destroy the turrets, having them active is still a net positive, since it will take pressure off the huntsmen and put pressure on the Grimm.
Even without huntsmen, you could probably get away with enough of the numerous turrets surviving the trip that the Grimm are sufficiently repelled, with the turrets being repaired inbetween trips.
Dudley in this case is using an especially large amount of braincells—he’s positioned himself between turrets so that they and himself can support each other’s fire—he repels the Grimm that try to attack the turrets, and the turrets’ supporting fire makes him less likely to bite it.

I have zero idea why Qrow or Oscar would think it was a good idea to take a course of action that literally only makes it harder for them to defend the train. The conversation Oscar has with Dudley on this matter is very telling—a turret cannon is shown successfully striking down a chimera, as well as Dudley himself, but noooo, Oscar has to speak:

Os: You have to shut off the turrets!

D: Are you crazy? No way!

Os: Stop! You have to lure the Grimm to the back!

D: What does it matter if they’re dead?

I have a question: the passengers are well aware they’re under attack. They are reasonably safe anyway because of all the armor on the train, but they are still scared. Is their fear not going to attract the Grimm either way? How are you going to lure them away from what tends to attract Grimm attention?

This mess is so stupid. Five Reliable Leader points and ten for Ill Logic, because this is the dumbest course of action in the entire show so far, and that is quite a feat.

Reliable Leaders: 33 (+5)

Ill Logic: 94 (+10)

And you know what? Five points for this, too.

Prowling Wolf Fallacy: 13 (+5)

Because the leaders’ obsession with deflecting Grimm attention has finally reached a point where the Grimm are actively attacking and they have to fight, and they want to handicap a defense because they think they can do better without extra help.

Then, the Grimm all start winging off, making distance from the train. Everyone is baffled by this, until Oscar looks ahead and realizes they’re going into a tunnel. Please note that the turrets, which are apparently a mortal enemy of Qrow’s or something, fit within the tunnel just fine. The humans, apparently not so much. Dudley isn’t quick enough getting back inside the train, and we get a sickening crunch and a scream of pain as we cut to black.

He’s not dead, but he did get a broken arm. I would like you guys to pay attention to what happens next.

Q: I said, turn those damn things off!

Qrow approaches a grievously wounded man, and still obsessed with kneecapping the train’s defense for some reason, slams him up against the wall--no, for real, one of our heroes is physically assaulting an injured man. Ruby has it in her to look mildly concerned about this. Fucking thanks, Ruby, glad a wounded man can count on your help.

Seriously—why the fuck is Qrow so adamant that turrets are bad and should be turned off??? They work. Clearly they work if they’ve been installed onto the train to begin with, and we saw evidence that they work, actively able to hit and dispatch the Grimm. Make it make sense, god damn it!!!

Ruby sees several Grimm still following the train through a window, while in the background, Qrow continues to harass an injured man because with his dumbass logic that the turrets are putting the passengers in more danger. A blood vessel bursts in my brain.

Can I give Qrow Jaune points? Seriously, this dude is a gigantic douche-canoe and I want him kicked between the thighs with supreme force and prejudice.

Ruby sees the concerned passengers, so very afraid, and finally intervenes just as Qrow, still holding Dudley by his wounded arm, is shaking him and telling him this wouldn’t be happening if he’d done his job instead of trying to shake money out of the train’s passengers. I seriously hope Qrow burns in lava.

R: Please, just shut off the turrets.

This being why I believe the intended connection we’re supposed to make is “the turrets make people more afraid and that makes the Grimm crazy”, even though I already pointed out the flaw in that. So:

Prowling Wolf Fallacy: 14

Do you people hate turrets? Did turrets ruin your Thanksgiving dinner at some point? Are turrets evil and shady like Ironwood, is that the message I’m supposed to get?

You keep repeating it, I’m gonna keep giving you points for it.

Ill Logic: 99 (+5)

But Dudley does as he’s told, becoming more pliable after Jaune heals his arm with “Trust us, we know what we’re doing.” No, you very clearly don’t. Then, Nora finally spells out what this absolute farce is:

N: Ren, could you use your semblance to mask everyone on this train? With the guns off and emotions hidden, they might lose track of us!

Ill Logic: 100

Why on earth would that work?

The issue with this is that for those turrets to even be in place, they’d have to be largely capable of fulfilling their purpose—previous train journeys probably didn’t have someone there who can mask passengers’ emotions. Right? Or are we just assuming that no train journeys through Grimm territory ever worked out until Lie Ren came along???

But the way Nora says it… I’m sorry, but would this still be all no-no-not-allowed if the passengers’ had their emotions masked, and the turrets were still active? The way you’re saying it implies my first guess was right, and everyone present thinks that turrets are Grimm magnets for some reason. That’s a retcon. The Grimm could be assumed to have attacked the turrets because they’re smart enough to know the turrets are defending humans they could otherwise attack. That’s the reasonable assumption.

But in truth, we all know why this was done. Because the obvious comes into play—Ren can’t mask all those emotions at once by himself…but he could if Jaune amplified his aura!

Jaune: 52 (+10)

You—you goddamn—you braindead—

YOU MORONS MADE ME SIT THROUGH ALL THIS CAUSTICALLY STUPID BULLSHIT SO THAT JAUNE COULD HAVE A MOMENT TO SHINE?! LIKE HE HASN’T HAD ENOUGH ALREADY?!

I HATE THIS FUCKING SHOW!

So that’s what they do. Jaune does the thing, Ren does the thing, the Grimm go away, and the surviving Huntsman of the Dumbass Duo has bowed to the superior ideas of the heroes. Or at least, that’s the idea. Ozpin actually takes over Oscar’s body (again, he asks, but we don’t hear Oscar answer), before speaking.

Reliable Leaders: 34

Oz: I’m afraid that won’t work. The Grimm are also attracted to this. [gestures to the Relic of Knowledge at his hip]

We’re just making shit up now, aren’t we? And for what? Why on earth would the relics attract Grimm? That doesn’t make any more sense than requiring a maiden to open the door to one! Less in fact, because I literally cannot think of a reason why this plot point is here--unless it's to make the heroes look even more like dickheads.

Qrow asks if Ozpin is serious, and Yang demands to know why he wouldn’t tell them that before, you know, they got anywhere close to this far. Ruby decides to interrupt Ozpin being under the spotlight by dropping a heroic resolve bit on us.

R: It doesn’t matter right now. Every second we’re on board this train, we’re putting everyone else in danger. Get the passengers to the front cars. We’ll still mask the emotions and kill the turrets, we just can’t come with you. If we cut the back cars with us and the relic on them, we can kill the Grimm. You just make sure the rest of the train makes it safely to Argus.

So let me get this straight—everyone here is suffering undue Grimm attention because Ozpin didn’t tell anyone that the lamp is a Grimm magnet,

Reliable Leaders: 35

we are still refusing to let the train’s established defenses do their jobs, and now we’re going to just outright sacrifice parts of the train itself to try and make a stand against the Grimm?

Why can’t you just kill the things as normal?!?! The passengers are safe behind thick-as-fuck armor over their already-decently-sized train, and if the Grimm followed you all the way to Argus, it’s likely huntsmen would be there to repel them from getting any further! That makes sense!

This plot on the other hand makes no fucking sense. I hate everything. *knocks back a shot of chocolate milk* Fuck you.

But there is good to be had! Jaune makes Ruby promise they’ll meet them in Argus. Ruby does so, and then—YES! JAUNE IS FINALLY LEAVING THE PLOT!

It’s only for a little while, but that little fuckhead is finally OUT! Into the bin with you! Go into the burlap sack and let Coco Adel, Penny Polendina, and Sun Wukong kick you in the balls for a bit! Begone!!!

So yes, they do the things.

While directing the passengers back, the elderly lady with the weird visor lags behind. While cutting the traincars, Blake hallucinates a hooded Adam.

Some rock track I really don’t care about is playing. This is kind of like Bleach and Number One—once too much bullshit was happening, the music wasn’t enough to make me enjoy it anymore.

Jaune boosts Ren, Ren hides the train,

Invisembl: 7

and the huntsmen take on the Grimm. You will notice the shot I included where Ruby and Blake are swinging their weapons, visibly a few feet away from the Grimm and not hitting anything.

Your Fight Scene Sucks: 90

Adding insult to insult is how these Grimm seem to take very little effort to go down, which might explain why Oscar is so casually beating on one. We seriously had to shut down the train’s defenses for this?

I’m not slavishly transcribing these stupid fight scenes. If you’re reading this entry without gifs, you’ll just have to wonder.

But I will tell you that, besides his scythe swings not even visibly colliding with the bigger chimera he’s fighting,

Evisceration Evasion: 33

Qrow gets knocked on his ass! Haha, suck it, Qrow, you jackass!

Unfortunately, Weiss and Ruby intervene to save him. Weiss is, again, very slowly floating over the train top, several inches above the ground and way too slow.

Your Fight Scene Sucks: 91

Blake and Yang get involved to try and ground the one big chimera still remaining. Blake gets a spinning disc for her kusarigama, even though she really, really doesn’t need one.

Your Fight Scene Sucks: 92

While they’re holding it in place via Blake’s absurdly indestructible ribbon, Weiss gets in position (standing on air—which would mollify me if I wasn’t asking how she’s keeping up with the moving train on a glyph, which are ordinarily stationary and move only minimal amounts). She produces two large glyphs that freeze, and then shatter, the chimera’s wings.

Qrow and Ruby scythe-spin their way across the beast’s midsection.

They carve the beast in half, and it gets off a single large fireball that explodes, and takes their link of train cars off the tracks. Weiss produces multiple black glyphs to lock everyone in place so they won’t go flying, although curiously no ice shell like she did last time.

The train derails, and plows into the snowfields of northern Anima. Everyone is alive, including…the eye visor lady? Holding some kind of skull staff?

The episode cuts to black and ends, and I will now transcribe the opening and bid farewell to this stupid fucking post.

The opening theme is “Rising”. We first see a shot of RWBY brandishing their weapons. Then we get a shot of the full moon, which shatters. JNPRQ are shown at a train station, and Ruby and Weiss are running gleefully through the train. Blake and Yang sit awkwardly at a table in the train’s diner, with Yang looking at the window, in which we see a reflection of Adam.

We get a shot of Ruby and Qrow in the snow, joined by the robotic eye lady, whose own eye gets a zoom in which zooms out of Ruby’s. Qrow is shown drinking, before being dragged back into the darkness by the arms of Grimm. Multiple similar arms menace Ruby in a dark tunnel, and a hooded stranger we definitely don’t know the identity of walks a rainy suburban street. A familiar bowler hat blows by, and we cut to Adam brandishing his sword. We get cuts of the villainous faction—Hazel, Mercury, Emerald, and Tyrian, but no Cinder. A furious Salem expresses her rage, and blue smoke transitions the scene to an unfamiliar blonde woman looking up at a statue, which looks like Ozpin.

We zoom in on Ozpin, past what can only be several previous hosts of his (that’s still very creepy), who turns into Oscar, looking unsure. Then, for no reason, an angry Jaune slams Oscar against a wall. We see shots of RWBYQ fighting the chimera Grimm, with an extra shot of the hooded stranger fighting with a staff.

We end on a shot of Weiss helping up an injured Ruby, showing everyone gathered in the snowfield.