Supernatural, Season 11

Season Eleven represents a lot for supernatural. It's the first of the last, the first step onto the final chapter of SPN. The show's two thirds over and, since Season Five, has failed to really have a season that wasn't either hideously bad (Season Six) or possibly engaging if it weren't for a complete failure of execution (Seasons Seven, Eight, Nine, and Ten).

Season Eleven, ultimately, gives me a lot to talk about but very little to care about. All the usual problems are still there. Castiel and Crowley won't fucking leave, Dean and Sam are still relatively uninteresting, and the plot meanders along with little of consequence actually happening. The only difference is, Seasons Eight, Nine, and Ten had characters who genuinely were interesting (Kevin Tran and Charlie Bradbury) involved to offset the bad parts--and summarily killed off and inducing maddening rage in me because God is cruel and there is no form of justice in this forsaken show from hell.

What I've taken notice of in that long stream of seasons Six through Ten is that, sure as the sun rises and the sky is blue, the actual plot of the season (for what little there is one) will come to absolutely no fruition at the end, only for the finale to introduce some new development that will have to be dealt with next season. Not a development logically built on the stepping stones arranged in prior seasons, but something completely new pulled out of the writers' ass to make sure there is a basis for the next utter failure of execution now that the previous one has ended. In Season Six, the curve ball was Power-mad Castiel leading into the Leviathans. In season Seven, it was the Leviathans leading into the 'word of God' tablets that made Kevin Tran so important. In Season Eight, it was the arrival of hitherto-nonexistent Metatron leading into the fall of the angels, something that still makes me wince. In Season Nine, it was...well, Season Nine's was actually built on the arrival of Abaddon, who was introduced mid-season instead of at the end of it, albeit still from fuckshit nowhere. Season Ten was Demon Dean leading into "the Darkness" of Season Eleven.

"The Darkness" who would come to be called Amara, represents the culmination of something Supernatural has had a long-running problem with: scale. Season Two, demons took over. Season Four, angels took over. Season Five, archangels enter the mix. Archangels go away, we bring out Leviathans, etc, etc. Every time we squeeze the juice out of the last big plot problem, we have to introduce something bigger and stronger that can't be dealt with via the previous problem's methods. This is what starts the now-traditional sequence several times per season of Sam and Dean at a table, one poring over a possible "case" while the other bemoans that they don't have time for cases, they have [X big problem] to stop!

Which I suppose leads into the other problem, which is hype failure. See, every time we enter a new season with the fear that something released last season's finale will cause a huge catastrophe, the air slowly gets let out of that balloon as we watch the first few episodes of the coming season and see that the new Big Bad...doesn't really feel like blowing the planet up. Amara/the Darkness is no different. There's some skirmishes after her release wherein her presence seems to cause people to develop black veins and make them try to kill each other, and there's some weird thing where Amara tries to seduce Dean, but the main first half of the season is taken up with Amara having, for some reason nobody cares to explain, been reborn as a human-ish-looking child because this show has no special effects budget and every single abomination from beyond time and space has to look human lest the evil CGI boogeymen come out of the closet. This marks yet another hands-dragged-down-face moment from me that lasts half a season as Crowley, the "King of Hell" who now has a recognizable pattern for getting involved with things he really shouldn't because he can't see anything powerful without trying to get it in his pocket, tries to raise her as her "uncle Crowley" so she'll do what he wants and aid his...nebulous ends.

(Look, it took a long, long time to get through this season, some details might escape me on recapping it).

Naturally, this backfires, who could've guessed? And after growing big and strong on a diet of souls, Amara goes out into the world, seeking her only equal, God. Problem is, God basically doesn't exist in Supernatural except as the given (and thus hated) reason why Castiel keeps coming back every time he dies. He has otherwise been MIA, hence the Archangels and the Leviathans getting free roam of the planet to cause whatever chaos they like. Her powers extend to "basically whatever the hell she wants to happen happens" and Dean and Sam would really like her to stop killing humans in her bid for attention from her brother, Big G.

This leads into the second half of the season where, lacking any God to lock Amara up again, Dean, Sam, Crowley, and Rowena turn to the closest alternative they have, which is Archangels. I don't know why they choose Lucifer instead of Michael, but there he is, and they speak to him through his cage which, thanks to trickery by Rowena and desperation via Castiel, ends with Lucifer free and Crowley dethroned as King of Hell.

This has an upside and a downside. The upsides are that Crowley is finally forced to drop the smug Crowley-ness that had already aged past expiration by Season Seven as Lucifer makes him literally clean the floors with his tongue. I cannot with words alone communicate to you that Crowley is an annoying character I will not be sorry to see exiting the show next season, and only Castiel aggravates me more. It's nice to see him forcibly humbled. The other upside is that the plot finally sees fit to start moving in earnest as Lucifer makes for "hands of god" i.e. powerful tools bearing God-residue from the last time He touched them in order to kill Amara.

The downside is that Lucifer is in play via inhabiting Castiel's vessel, that corpse nobody ever seems to remember, Jimmy Novak, keeping Castiel himself under lock and key. While I'm certainly not going to complain that Mark Pellegrino, right-wing dudebro creep that he is, made it into as little of the season as possible, Misha Collins simply doesn't  have what it takes to play Lucifer. I don't know why the directors of this show love Misha, or his character Castiel, so much, but I'm afraid it doesn't work out. Pellegrino as Nick!Lucifer has the chops and Collins as Misha!Lucifer doesn't, it's that simple. His performance falls flat.

The final act of the season sees God himself finally show his face, which is immensely underwhelming as--get this--Chuck is God. That nerd who wrote the in-universe Supernatural books.

And here's where, again, scale is coming back to bite us. They say "the world" is a cheap stake, and that's true. It will always provide investment from the characters in-story because, gosh, well, can't let the whole world get blown up! They live there! But it fails to reel in audiences because there's no spice. Because any character will join a fight to save the world from exploding. And now our principle threats are characters who could literally save or destroy the world at a moment's notice because they are, and I feel the need to emphasize this, literally God.

See, there's been a hilarious amount of shit God could've personally stopped with a finger snap if he felt like it. He hasn't, except to keep that annoying little cretin Castiel around. There are two satisfying solutions to the presence of God in this story, and that is 1) either he is not, as we would be led to believe, a Capital-G God of true omnipotence and omniscience, and he has limitations. This would be acceptable. The other is that God has in some way been incapacitated or rendered ineffectual. Put into a Snow White sleep, or some other bullshit. That, too, would be acceptable.

Supernatural does not deliver either of these alternatives and instead tries to handwave God's lack of presence and intervention in this story as a personal character flaw which simply isn't believable and would turn any reasonable viewer against him. That is, if reasonable viewers were still around. I'm quite convinced that by 2016 when the latter half of this show was airing, the only real SPN fans still paying attention were diehard Destiel shippers.

I'm going to take a segue now from the plot of the season to talk about the feel of the season, because it is very different than that of earlier seasons. Destiel in particular is something I've been keeping a close eye on since I started watching this show given its fame and infamy in fandom. In the last retrospective I posted, I noted the sharp discrepancy between what Destiel has been touted as on the internet vs. what it actually ended up being, which was...nothing. Seasons Four through Six basically amounted to half-hearted jokes about Dean's shadow, pet puppy, and/or boyfriend that it would be dishonest to even label 'gay bait'. Seasons Seven through Ten lost even that but traded it out for the sort of basic trust-building interactions that could be believable to a shipper but are ultimately unconvincing to anybody without the goggles on. Season Eleven...well.

I suppose before I get the Destiel details in there that I should remark more broadly on what the attitude in Season Eleven is like. Before, there were obvious tells that the Supernatural staff were aware of their fandom and its antics. It's why we had shit like the Supernatural books, that dumb episode about a Supernatural play and that abominable moment where a power-tripping Castiel barges into a homophobic church to call them on lying about God hating gays. Supernatural has obviously thrown bones to its audience and acknowledged them hoping to foster positive attentions and fans are obviously used to feeling seen that way. But Season Eleven is different. Season Eleven made it clear that the Supernatural staff are willing to bait. I knew that when I saw Lucifer and Castiel discussing "Assbutt". And the fact that I knew about "assbut" before I ever watched Supernatural is a pretty good guarantee that that was a major lasting joke in the fandom, one whose referencing in-show would get them howling over how much SPN loves them and obviously feels the same way about everything that they do--oh my god this is so sad, I can't even finish.

Okay, I can. What few non-Amara related episodes there were, given that the regular monster fare has almost entirely disappeared from the show, but I did notice an astounding number of incidental characters who were, very pointedly, gay. The one woman had a wife, the one guy was gay, hell, God talked about having boyfriends. They didn't even die! I'd almost believe they want gay audiences to enjoy their show and not feel hated. So, yeah, they're really reaching for audience love at this point.

Part of this feels like trying to pay off fans. I'm not sure if we're deep enough into Supernatural at this point to desperately want a solution to rabid Destiel disease, but I am definitely getting the vibe that the SPN staff at this point had realized Destiel was a thing in fandom. Aside from that, there was also the direction of Dean and Castiel themselves. Castiel has officially started to take up a large portion of Dean's attention span, rather than the other way around. You'd think this might be a form of bait in itself, except that by the end of the season, Dean is talking about how Castiel is like a brother to him. He's not, he's more like a parasite, but the point isn't what Castiel is, it's what Dean considers him. Last to be considered is Dean's...infatuation, with Amara. I swear, this crap had me confused. I mean, I know Dean started out as a frequent womanizer (a trait that's sort of been squeezed out lately as angels, demons, and other big bad forces squeeze out any time for fun in this hideous show), but he's never rung up as the sort of character who would develop a bond, wherever it might weigh in on the romance-versus-sex-versus destine scale, with something like Amara at first sight, even if she does appear as a reasonably attractive woman in a black dress for whatever reason. Yes, it feels weird to say that Dean seems like he wouldn't be vulnerable to a hot woman, but those are the circumstances we find ourselves in.

Taken on its own, I wouldn't be able to say that it had anything to do with deterring Destiel fans, because it just feels weird and out of nowhere. Taken alongside the incidental gays and the official bro-zoning of Castiel, that opinion swiftly reverses. This was 2015, 2016, and I know for a fact that Supernatural was getting accused of gay-baiting on internet spaces at this point, which I think should be considered proof that Destiel fans and Supernatural fans as a whole live in another world. This isn't gay-bait. This is a desperate bid to pay off fans while putting a solid stopper in their favorite ship.

Which might've worked if the Supernatural fandom were actually after gay-friendly media instead of seeking their ship. I know for a fact that the Supernatural staff could've invented an entirely new, male character to sweep Dean off his feet and end the series married for him, and the fandom would view it as either a betrayal or a mere stepping stone on the way to their true endgame ship.

It's kind of sad.

Anyway, the last third of the season. God's here and his name is Chuck, nobody's happy about that. Lucifer's free, Crowley's eating dirt, and Rowena is doing Rowena things. But Amara presents a threat to everything. Angels, demons, witches, anything you love, she can destroy it, and because it can all ultimately be traced back to God, she intends to in order to spite him. Metatron comes back to try and convince God to get off his lazy, cowardly ass and do something to stop her, which results in an all-available-hands attempt to seal her up again, with God doing the deed once Amara's been weakened by the combined efforts of everyone present.

And this actually gets pulled off fairly well. Rowena and the strongest remaining witches combine their power to throw a huge spell of 'fuck you' at Amara, which doesn't work but does wound her. Then the angels, convinced to act by Lucifer and Castiel, combine their power to throw a big giant Smite Beam of Fuck You down on her--which we know from a prior attempt halfway through the season won't kill her, but after being hit by the Rowena Beam, does lay her flat. Crowley and the remaining demons follow this up by throwing everything they've got at her, doing further damage. Amara finally staggers into the building where Lucifer and God are waiting, and Lucifer charges up and jams a Hand of God blade through her chest. She's on her last leg, and Chuck/God keeps Lucifer from landing a killing blow (terrible decision, really) and tries to seal her.

And all this results in a finale that I, for once, really liked. It's not much compared to, say, Swan Song, but it's got something Supernatural has been sorely lacking up to this point, which is spectacle. We've never really seen a bunch of separate factions team up to whoop one evil force's ass, and actually make it work! It's the kind of thing I probably would've written, and trust me, I haven't said that in the entirety of my time watching Supernatural until now.

Which is why it's baffling that that's not where it ended. That's only the penultimate episode, not the actual finale.

The actual finale comes in the wake of Amara shrugging off all of that because she hates the idea of being sealed and delivering God a deathblow. In light of that, the alliance, who have basically lost, finally come up with another idea, which is using Rowena's magic to make a soul bomb comprised of the energy of hundreds of thousands of souls to take out Amara, so that if God dies, at least she'll die with him and the balance won't technically be changed, or whatever the hell. This is where Dean and Sam make their own contribution, albeit most of the work is done by a reaper who's been appearing throughout the season promising Dean that when he and Sam next bite it, she'll be personally making sure they don't come back. Then Dean has to take the completed bond to Amara even though she'll sense it coming a mile away because something-something-Dean's-bond-with-Amara that still isn't that believable.

And then the bomb doesn't even go off. Dean gives a speech that convinces Amara to reconcile with God, she heals God, and then they both vanish and everything's fine.

I just can't have even one fucking thing with this show, can I?

The alliance combining forces to seal away Amara was good! It had spectacle, and I believed it, and I wanted them to win! It would've worked fine as a finale! Doing all of that, only to have it fail, then coming up with an alternative way to beat her that is then rendered moot because family this family that, is like spitting in my face!

And granted, I don't think you had to axe the Bullshit Finale completely. You could meld it in with the good one. Dean and Sam's contribution of hitting her with a massive soul bomb could easily be added to the chain of critical hits that Amara sustains before finally being sealed, and it could be the most important one. And you don't even have to axe God and Amara making up, stupid though it is. Just have Amara finally admit she likes life and doesn't want to kill God, and therefore agree to be sealed at the last moment.

Instead, that doesn't happen and God and Amara both vanish with Amara doing the special favor to repay his making her realize she likes life, which is bringing his mom back to life.

.............................What?

No, seriously, what?! What the hell kind of last-minute development is that?! Who is this for? What is this supposed to set up? What is this supposed to make the audience excited for?! The last time we saw Mary Winchester in the flesh was... Season Two? As a ghost? I'm not even sure it was Season Two, it might've been Season One! Mary Winchester is ancient history. She has been so far removed from this show for such a long time that I cannot begin to fathom why this was even a thing. What is the purpose? What is the reason? Who wanted this, who was interested in this? Why do it?

I can tell you I didn't like Samuel Campbell and other Winchester family members coming back in Season Six, so why should I be enthused about Mary? No one has any time for more Winchester family antics. That's over and done with, long since. What can I as a viewer, even one supposedly invested in the show, get out of this?

And we're still not done. God and Amara have left, Amara sent Lucifer some not-here place in the big showdown... the rest of the gang seems fine, but when Sam and Castiel are alone, some chick from Europe comes out of nowhere and banishes Castiel (when you say it like this, it reads like a physical representation of fans removing any interaction between Sam and Castiel because it doesn't suit their ship, and I find that hilarious) and then tells Sam that she's going to kill him.

I'm not kidding. Some brand-new character, never introduced prior to the very last minute, arrives to kill Sam and Dean, albeit she only has access to Sam at the moment. The reasons she gives are that the Men of Letters have decided Sam and Dean have fucked over the world too many times in their misadventures and thus have to go.

Okay...while that would've been a sensible conclusion to come to maybe three or four seasons ago, or even in Season Five (and they actually did! Some hunters tried to kill Sam for inadvertently starting the apocalypse halfway through Season Five!), it's a been a bit of a while since this applied. In the time since Season Five, abundant world-ending disasters have come about that don't have to do with Sam and Dean--such as the Leviathans, which were all Castiel's doing, or the fallen angels, which were Metatron with some help from Castiel. Yeah, the Darkness being released was Sam and Dean's fault, but we're long past the point where other people can take it out on them. If they go around handling angels, demons, archangels, leviathans, witches, and literally God himself without going kaput, I don't think some woman with a gun who decided they've got to go is going to have too much luck. In fact, I'm pretty sure this woman's plan specifically relied on the world not going kaboom because God died, meaning she can only kill them if they bother to save the world and thus her first.

I just... I don't have time for this character or this development. I don't know her, I don't care about her, and I'm gonna be confident in saying no one does. Literally nobody has any reason to be remotely interested in this character or want her around. Here we are, having the big finale, where the world finally gets saved and everybody's tacitly getting along, and this chick comes plodding out of nowhere. She's simply not welcome and why she's even here at all is not so much an in-story mystery as a mystery surrounding the minds of the SPN writers.

Yes, it's technically more of the same. It's the same thing they always do, utterly failing to wrap up the season's plot in a satisfying way before throwing some new and shocking development in at the last second to bait audiences into watching for another season. It's just that this is lazy and careless even by Supernatural standards. After an entire season of the same old Supernatural fare so boring and bland it could've been served alongside plain crackers, this actually being the worst next-season hook yet actually pissed me off.

So Season Eleven ends in a total mess. What else is new?

Well, Metatron bit the dust. This coming after his part in the plot--the oddly heroic action of convincing God to actually bother to save humanity--bursts out of the subplot of him playing editor to God's autobiography like a chestburster (no, seriously, God wrote an autobiography and wanted Metatron to edit it). And my god that was painful, because every time Metatron is onscreen talking about the specifics of writing stories, it's basically one long tangent from the SPN writers about how writing isn't perfect, how writing is complicated, and in a much quieter voice, what awesome writers they are and to please stop sending them hate mail. The mere fact that God wrote an autobiography tells me that the SPN writers aren't going to stop self-inserting into the story to humblebrag about their writing anytime soon, but the fact that Metatron died tells me that at the very least, we're on the home stretch. If characters that die are no longer restricted to the interesting ones I like and a character I hated has actually shocked me by leaving the show, anything can happen.

I'm gonna sip some tea and relish the thought of Crowley finally exiting stage left next season. Huzzah.